Home grown chillies, Pot Noodle and aspirational clothing.

A photo of some chillies freshly picked after being grown in my own back garden. Not such a good crop as last year, but then the weather has been all over the place. Nice to have them anyway.

I get really ticked off when getting off public transport, be it bus, tube or overland train; you are getting ready to leave the train carriage or bus (delete as applicable) and some unwashed oik pushes their way on board before you can leave. Utter rudeness and a complete disregard is shown for their fellow passengers by these contemptible creatures. Attaching their genitalia to a three phase mains supply via heavy duty jump leads seems an equitable solution.

Pot Noodle. What a poorly researched television advert they are currently showing. The concept of the "1974 noodle famine" and the whole idea of mining for noodles is somewhat let down by the televsion commercial showing an Apple II computer in one scene. The Apple II was not released until 1977, and to my knowledge did not reach the UK in any numbers until late 1978 / early 1979. The idea of a Welsh mining village having one at that time is utterly contemptible. And don't get me started about people on public transport who start singing along to what they are listening to on their media players. For some reason they are most commonly listening to Gospel music - make of that what you will.

White socks with track suit bottoms tucked into them; you know where I am heading with this one. Get the chainsaw warmed up....

I have found a very thought provoking Blog and set of philosophical arguments here - I will let you make your own judgement either way.

Personally I aspire to a bespoke Saville Row two piece single breasted suit and a pair of hand tooled Lobb shoes. Life is not always like that, I fear.

Mark and Shelley get spliced.

Well, Mark and Shelley have tied the knot, with Ian as Best Man. Unfortunately I could not make it due to work commitments, but in way of recompense, they get headline coverage in my Blog. I bumped into Shelley this afternoon in Morrisons, on my way home after visiting my Dad in the nursing home. She sent me the photos, which I reproduce here.

Colin and his daughter China have been round today whilst I have been at work in Sunny Watford (TM). They have been doing some more restorative work on his Land Rover parked at the rear of my house, as per my previous posting. Captain Colin of the M.V Admiral Jellicoe has his own key and free range of my home when I am at work. I had to give them both a bit of a driving lesson in relation to my cooker, as they had suffered a bit of a culinary mishap when trying to bake a couple of Linda McCartney veggie pies. Luckily the smoke has now cleared.

Ian Emailed me today to say that not only has he found "The Chap" magazine on sale in Sidcup, but that he is entering me for some kind of competition in the magazine. No doubt time will tell. I would imagine that Tweed will feature in some context.

Maggot Sandwich Blog reader Barbarella has been in Email touch a couple of times. Hi to you and many thanks for your comments!

Well, a fairly short and whinge free entry this time; back with much venting of spleen and appropriate bile soon, I am sure.

Here is a short film that has acheived classic status online - a parody of ABC's "Cops" set in the Star Wars universe; here is "Troops"...

The thoughts of Chairman Arthur - part one.

Possibly the publicity poster for the forthcoming Indiana Jones 4 movie. Who knows?

Things that currently are not criminal offences, but to my mind really should be:

Knowingly being common.
Wilful use of a mobile telephone on public transport.
Looking at me "in a funny way".
Possession of an offensive dog.
Going equipped to be a Chav.
Wearing a football shirt in a built up area during the hours of darkness.
Eating junk food on public transport.
Being tattooed in a public place during the hours of daylight.

Drinking Magner's Irish Cider / Stella / Fosters / Carling or anything "extra cold" anywhere ever - a sure sign of incivility, lack of culture and incipient Chavness. You cannot be both a Chav and drink real ale - yin and yang - two concepts that are diametrically opposed. Exposed to a beautifully served pint of, say Adnam's Broadside, a Chav would implode, following the natural rules of the universe.

Owning a motor car with "modifications" such as a spoiler, neon underlights or other such guff. Why spend a fortune customising a common or garden shopping car, when you could have used the money to buy something half decent in the first place? As Earl Okin once said:

“To drive a car without a walnut fascia is unthinkable. Along with leather seats, it proclaims that one is driving a 'motor car' and not merely a 'car'.”