The Cyber Khazi.

Erith has now got a brand new landmark in the Riverside Shopping Centre, on Pier Road, directly opposite the Health Centre - an automated super public toilet, that I am naming the Cyber Khazi. Quite what the authorities were thinking of when they commissioned the beast is entirely beyond me. We have public toilets literally around the corner from the new loo (albeit they are semi permanently locked to prevent local smack heads using them for a doze, after they have picked up their methadone from the nearby Payden's Pharmacy). Who, I wonder is going to spend their money to have a wee or drop their guts? In extremis, I certainly would, but I get the feeling I am very much in the minority. Bearing in mind, as I have recently reported, "street drinkers" have been seen pooing in kerb side waste bins locally, and there are a number of strategically placed dark corners and dense bushes in the vicinity. One is not filled with confidence that the Cyber Khazi will actually get used for the purpose intended. I predict it will be a burned out shell within a month.

OK, so we have the snow, and it is only a week before Christmas, but personally it does not feel at all Christmassy this year; I can't put my finger quite why, but I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. I think many people are planning a low key festive period this year, after a painful year with the credit crunch and the (supposed) global warming doom and gloom. It does seem that this country falls apart at the merest hint of snow.

I have to give an honourable mention to the woman selling The Big Issue by the pedestrian crossing between the Erith Riverside Centre and Morrison's car park. She was out in the driving snow and icy wind all day on Friday. I think Erith must be an exceptionally hard gig for Big Issue sellers – very few locals have much in the way of spare change – I doubt she got many customers; a hard and uncomfortable way to earn a crust.

On a related note, The Royal Alfred pub on the corner of Manor Road and Appold Street closed down quite a while back. It was sold to the family the own the Londis corner store on the opposite corner, and I gather that in due course they plan turning the pub into a small supermarket. In the meantime they let the upstairs rooms to a number of Eastern Europeans. I have noticed that they leave all of the upper windows open, even in the recent sub zero temperatures; I cannot for the life of me think why. It must be utterly freezing inside.

Google have been quite uncharacteristic in their recent publicity campaign for their Chrome web browser. There are road side billboard adverts, posters on the tube and they even took the whole front and back covers of the Metro free newspaper this week. I cannot make my mind up about Chrome – although it has been out for nearly a year on Windows, it only got released for Apple OS X and Linux a week ago. I don't particularly like the way it handles bookmarks, and the settings import wizard is a bit of a mess; overall though, it is nice to see the web browser market get a boost. I also use Firefox and Opera (though Opera does not render the Maggot Sandwich correctly – my little JavaScript clock looks all wonky). Anything that puts a serious dent in the previous dominance of Internet Explorer has to be a good thing.

A small snippet of information gleaned from the CAMRA magazine “The London Drinker” is that the One Bell pub in Crayford has been purchased from Punch Taverns by former Hull City and Fulham footballer Jimmy Bullard. The pub will be refurbished and then run by Mr. Bullard's father, Jimmy Senior. Nice to see something positive happening when one hears of so many pubs closing down for good. Recently both the Stile and Winch, and the Harrow pub on North End Road have closed and are either going to be demolished, or converted into social housing. I will have to visit the One Bell once it re-opens and report back.

I am not the world's greatest champion of Web 2.0. I don't use FaceBook or MySpace, and quite frankly I completely fail to see the point of Twitter. One thing I do use and greatly appreciate is Flickr, the online photo application. It is powerful, easy to use and somewhat unsung in comparison to its' better known siblings. I store and share over 3,000 of my photos on Flickr, and have met some interesting people through the service. You can view my photos online here.

There has been much copy written online about the (dreadfully named) car scrappage scheme. I won't vent my spleen on the anonymous knuckle dragging Visigoth who coined the grammar mangling phrase, but suffice to say I sincerely hope a special ring of Hell is reserved for them. I digress; something far more relevant and important than a minor subsidy on a new car purchase has been announced to very little fanfare or public awareness. The government have announced a scheme to provide a substantial cash subsidy for householders who replace their old and energy inefficient central heating boilers with a new, greener replacement. I will most definitely be interested in this; my own ancient combination boiler sits in the corner of the bathroom, clicking and hissing malevolently. Every so often it launches into life, sounding like a Mig 21 afterburner on full chat. It has a nasty habit of blasting RF (radio frequency) energy through my study, wiping out whatever broadcast I am listening to on my trusty JRC NRD 345 H.F communications receiver (photo below). If money were no object, I would add a Ten - Tec RX340 to my shack - but I don't have a spare £3,500 for another receiver right now.



The beast that is my old boiler seems permanently on the verge of exploding and burning down Pewty Acres - or so it seems to want me to think; I reckon it is just keen on keeping me on my toes. If a bunch of feckless and misguided politicians can just for once get their act together and do something worthwhile, I am not going to be one to discourage them.

After my recent complimentary missives about Bristol Cars, I found a very enlightening article online from the English language "Arab News" newspaper "the Middle East's premium English language news" - you can read the piece by clicking here.

Back in the early years of this decade, I was a keen supporter of what was then the very first distributed computing initiative - this is where the power of thousands, or indeed hundreds of thousands of personal computers are harnessed together to run complex calculations that would normally require an expensive supercomputer to run. In essence you download a screensaver that runs when you are not using your computer - it takes a chunk of data, quietly processes it in the background, then spits the results back at the master computer. There are a number of projects organised by the Berkeley Open Infrastructure for Network Computing - part of Berkeley University. These included molecular analysis of potential anti cancer drugs, mapping the human genome, and best known of all, the SETI at home project. This is part of the SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence), which is searching the skies with the world's largest radio telescope in Arecebo, Puerto Rico, looking for signals from alien civilisations. I recently downloaded their latest screensaver / signal analysis software for my Apple Mac, as I thought I would give the whole thing another crack of the whip. You can see a screen shot of it in operation below.



As I have been typing this, I have been listening to Weekend Music Radio from Scotland. They used to be a regular shortwave pirate radio station, but have been off air for a couple of years due to the lack of sunspot activity, and consequent poor signal propagation conditions. They are back on 6.400 kHz short wave. You can see their website by clicking here.

One other thing - since it is that time of the year once again: Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion, as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all. Additionally; a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, colour, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes. (Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / himself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit).  That has got that out of the way for another 51 weeks!

You may have seen a story in the popular press over the last week discussing a independent movie maker from Uruguay, who, after posting his latest amateur short film onto YouTube, has subsequently been offered a $30 million movie deal under the tutelage of cult film director Sam Raimi. You can read more about the story behind this unusual approach to getting a film directors' job in this article from the Los Angeles Times. Suffice to say the short film is called "Panic Attack" and shows the invasion of the city of Montevideo in Uruguay by a army of giant killer robots - watch it below and feel free to leave a comment.

Dances with Smurfs.

The photo above shows a broken down 99 bus outside of my house last Wednesday night; it stayed there for the best part of two hours before a tow lorry came along to take it back to Plumstead Bus Garage for repair. The 99 route is still proving problematic - the buses are still bunching up, so that you can wait for over thirty minutes for one, then three turn up at once. Unpleasant at the best of times, and doubly so now we have cold weather and long, dark evenings. See a similar observation from Darryl of Charlton, and his excellent 853 blog here.

More developments in respect of Pooshun / Potion. See the photo, taken by Ian below:



I have been in contact with the local Police licencing department; it would seem that the bar has been experiencing trouble from certain customers - there have been several violent incidents. The bar now has had its' licence amended; it has to shut a 8pm on a Friday and Saturday night, until such times as the owners can employ management capable of maintaining order in the place. Personally I suspect that it is already close to bankruptcy, and that it is only a matter of time before it closes for good. They must be operating at a loss, and to lose the ability to open at the busiest times of the weekend must have crippled their business plan. Potion have a Facebook page here; it would seem that even some of their members are concerned as to if the place has a secure future.

The licence application document has disappeared from the door of Tease nightclub; I don't know what the latest is, but I somehow doubt that a 7pm - 7am drinks and music licence seven days per week would be granted, as they had apparently requested. The area is now heavily residential, and the new community police office is being developed right next door. I wonder if they have decided to cut their losses after seeing the problems Potion have experienced from the loutish elements that stalk through Erith and its' environs.

The rather surreal title to this weeks' entry refers to the much hyped launch of the latest mega budget blockbuster movie from Canadian film director, James Cameron. The film is of course Avatar. The movie is bound to be a big hit, thought the plot is a bit derivative (wheelchair bound former colonial space marine sent to an idyllic alien planet, undergoes mind transfer into a synthetic body of the dominant alien species in order to infiltrate and subvert the alien species before conquering the planet to plunder it for its' unique mineral wealth. Former marine falls in love with a nine foot tall blue skinned alien girl, realises his own people are the bad guys, "goes native" and helps the aliens defend their planet against the invading humans). Phew! Anyway, I think this movie can be accurately summarised as "Dances with Smurfs".

Google have now released a beta version of their Chrome web browser for both Linux and Apple OS X. It has been available on the Windows platform for nearly a year. To give it a try, you can download it for free from here.

I regularly get asked by people where they can get a cheap / free copy of Microsoft Office from. I don't condone or encourage software piracy in any form - and in any case, there is an excellent free and open source alternative, available for multiple operating systems. It is 100% compatible with MS Office file types (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access) and even has a very similar look and feel. The suite is the very well regarded OpenOffice. You can download it for free by clicking here.

I have now taken delivery of two original works of abstract art by London based painter David Zimmer. He kindly delivered them in person this morning; he's donating a portion of the sale proceeds to the Alzheimers' Society, so in the end everyone is a winner.

This piece is called Blue Haze - it is hanging on the landing wall, halfway up the stairs.



The second piece is called Sunrise, and is hanging in the living room.



I was walking along Bexleyheath Broadway on Saturday morning,  prior to heading to the Robin Hood and Little John for my lunchtime repast, when I noticed signs of activity in the former location of Woolworths. The giant open plan shop had builder's tools and bags of cement lying around, and there was a large concrete core drilled out of the floor slab - maybe the structural engineers were looking to see what kind of weight loading the floor was capable of taking? Who knows? More news when I find out what is going on in the place. On another, rather surreal note, has anyone else noticed the two buskers in the Broadway? They play light jazz with a backing tape - they sound like they learned their trade playing lift music - very bland and innocuous. There's nothing to beat live music, especially coming from a great busker. It's unfortunate that these two are very far from great.

Wherever I look when in a newsagents, or general shop like W.H Smith, I get bombarded by Jamie Oliver themed goods. I have nothing whatsoever against the guy - but when I see "Jamie" magazine on the news stands, I start wondering just what is going on. His gurning mug seems plastered everywhere; I think the applicable phrase is "dangerously over - exposed". He is not the only guilty one - go into any high street branch of Robert Dyas and you will find all sorts of kitchen devices and implements that are being plugged by various television chefs, who no doubt look at the promotional road as an easy way to top up their pension pots. It is all rather money grabbing, tawdry and sad.

You may not be aware, but the UK Government has plans to switch off the analogue radio network and compel everyone into using DAB radios within a few years. Or maybe not after all. An article on the tech news website the Register said the following:

Two members of the House of Lords have tabled amendments to the Digital Britain bill, urging Ofcom to consider the effects of the proposed digital radio switchover on analogue listeners and community stations. Lords Howard and de Mauley would oblige Ofcom to consider "the needs of local and community radio stations" and "the needs of analogue listeners". It isn't just DAB, but digital radio in general that's proving to be a problem all over Europe. Germany has stopped funding DAB and postponed the move to DAB+, and although official policy of moving radio from analogue transmission remains, it isn't clear how this will be achieved. "DAB – although vital – is in intensive care and living a sad, hospitalised existence," admitted the director of Deutschlandradio (German national public radio) Willi Steul [translation here]. France has postponed its digital radio transmissions for a year, leading to widespread scepticism that it will ever launch. The French have adopted DMB, not DAB+, although the former is around 40 per cent less efficient, according to Steve Green. In the UK, notes radio analyst Grant Goddard, Ofcom found that 64 per cent of households say they are unlikely to buy a DAB radio in the next 12 months. Making inroads into the 100m+ installed base of analogue radios is going to be slow; the Digital Radio Development Bureau reckons the 10 millionth DAB radio was sold last month. DRDB chief Tony Moretta told us recently that boosting the power of DAB transmissions and building in-fill is the way to win back consumer confidence.

So the days of high quality FM stereo radio may not be over for a while after all. Talking of which, this weeks' video clip is one that is in danger of becoming viral. It was sent to me by Andy Walker of WNKR. it shows CCTV footage of council officials and Police removing a legitimate advertising sign belonging to South West London based Radio Jackie, along with a sound track from the station. See what you think and feel free to leave a comment below.

Four hours from Erith.

If the photo above does not look familiar, do not be concerned - it shows the skyline over Birmingham city centre. I have been spending quite a lot of time in the place over the last few weeks, due to the demands of work. My company is opening a new office building adjacent to the Birmingham Snow Hill railway station, and I have been involved in the development. I have been commuting up to Brum several times a week for the last few weeks - this is quite a feat personally, as in Ian's words, I get a nose bleed if I step outside of the London Borough of Bexley. Generally I do absolutely detest travel, but this is a very interesting, if demanding project that has a defined finish date. I'll be extremely glad when it is all over and I can get back to my normal routine however, as the trip up to the frozen North and back takes me four hours each way by train. I don't like interruptions to my normal routine, besides it means on the days I have to make the trip Northwards from Erith, I am unable to visit my Dad - something that is very important to me.

A problem that has recently been highlighted in the local press is that of Erith's street drinkers, as the local ne-er do wells, tramps and winos are quaintly described. Here is an excerpt from an article written by Linda Piper of the News Shopper:

A SUPERMARKET has been allowed to sell alcohol in an area which residents claim is plagued by anti-social behaviour caused by boozing. But Bexley councillors have added a string of conditions to the licence granted to the Riverside Supermarket in West Street, Erith. The council’s licensing sub-committee heard how problem drinkers had made the nearby Riverside Gardens open space and the gardens below Bosworth House in Erith High Street a no-go area for residents and children from the two tower blocks which overlook it. Stephen West, chairman of Erith Riverside Residents’ Association, told the committee: “Over the past four years we have seen a surge of street drinkers descend on both garden areas.” He added: “We have seen for ourselves the fighting, dog fighting and abusive behaviour of those drinking all day long, together with them openly defecating in full view of our windows and passers-by.” Mr West said: “All along West Street there are signs of other street drinkers.” His comments were re-inforced by a residents’ management company from the Chandlers Wharf development off West Street. One of its directors, Sue Smith, said there was a public green with benches at the entrance to the development which had been colonised by drinkers. She said: “Once they are in residence for the day, this area becomes a no-go zone for residents.” She said they arrived early in the morning and stayed until late at night, using the estate’s bin stores as a toilet and rummaging through rubbish bags. Other residents living in West Street said there were already enough off-licences in the area and claimed adding another would increase the existing problems. Mr West, backed by Bexley police’s licensing officer PC Eddy Boston, said his association had no objection to granting a licence for the Riverside Supermarket but wanted it banned from selling strong ciders and lagers. Granting a licence from 7am until 11pm daily, the sub-committee agreed to the ban on strong ciders and lagers and added 15 other conditions. The sub-committee considers “another off-licence can open in this area only if there are stringent controls to prevent the sale or supply of alcohol to children and other street drinkers”.

Quite. I cannot for one say I have yet witnessed the local winos pooing in public, but I guess that it is only a matter of time. They seem to be spreading from their normal lair around the Riverfront Gardens and Bosworth House into Erith town centre and the surrounding areas; it is like Day of the Dead. Break out the fire axes...

I also note that former Picardy schoolmate, and now disgraced ex deputy London Mayor Ian Clement has been having a touch of the vapours recently; he's now claiming that he was seduced by a Chinese spy when he attended the last Olympic Games - you can read more about his alleged story here. I think he is having a bit of a flight of fancy, and trying to sell the end results to the tabloid press for a few quid; I gather he's reduced to working part time in a local dry cleaners, and could no doubt do with the cash.

Local radio station WNKR have now moved frequency to 1512 KHz on the Medium Wave band to make way for the relaunched Big L as previously mentioned. You can also hear them in stereo, streaming online here.



An arty photo above of some Birmingham based woodwork that I took on Friday. I hope to have my two paintings by local abstract artist David Zimmer delivered next week; photos of the pieces will be shown online shortly.

I have previously mentioned that there has seemed to be a plague of fake £1 coins flooding the area; in a recent trip to Morrison's supermarket, of the £5 in coins I received in change, two of them were obvious fakes. The cashier changed them immediately upon my observation that the coins were counterfeit, and called her supervisor. I have heard it said that something like one in twenty one pound coins in general circulation is not genuine; if this is indeed the case, the Bank of England have a serious problem indeed. I know the Police take the whole thing very seriously indeed - a local counterfeiting gang have just been caught pretty much red handed, as you can read from the story here.

Bexley Council seem to be a pretty powerless and ineffectual lot in general; okay they keep the street lights lit and the bins emptied (after a fashion, though personally I take my rubbish to the recycling point in Morrison's car park myself each day, and don't trouble the bin men). I wonder if we would be better off returning to a localised monarchy. Did you know that Erith used to be ruled by King Eadbald of Kent? No, I thought not - it was a few years ago, I suppose. It is amazing what you can find online if you look hard enough.

Yule / Christmas is fast approaching; not a festival that I hold in particularly high esteem; personally I would prefer it to pass off as any other day - I cannot stand "fuss" - and the Yule / Christmas holiday is very high on "fuss" in my opinion. I will be spending the day itself as usual - visiting Dad, then having lunch with Mum - and as normal, we are not having Turkey. I cannot stand the dry, bland and unremarkable meat that comes from a Turkey. I think it is massively over rated. We are instead having roast Guinea Fowl with a wild mushroom sauce. On Boxing Day it will be Goose.  (Goose vindaloo, anyone?) The sooner the whole event is over and done with for another year, the happier I will be.

I went for a very pleasant working lunch with a group of my colleagues to St James restaurant in Bushey, Hertfordshire. This is not far from my office in Watford. Now you know why I detest travel. Anyway, the restaurant was very accommodating, and it got me thinking - why do we have no affordable, quality fine dining restaurants in the area? Erith only has fast food outlets like KFC and McDonald's. Bexleyheath and Dartford could probably host something of quality, but the nearest place is probably Chapters in Blackheath - which is not what it used to be, I am sorry to say.

I have recently been listening to an excellent comedy series on BBC Radio 4 called Bleak Expectations; it is a parody of Dickensian period fiction, and is extremely funny. You can hear the most recent episode on the BBC iPlayer website here.

The video clip this week is a real classic taken from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - here is the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch scene. Enjoy.

The 250th post.

This week marks my 250th post to the Maggot Sandwich; I would have hardly believed it possible when I tentatively published my first post way back here. Unfortunately when I updated the look and feel of my blog a while back, all of the changes were retrospective. Some of the longer serving readers may recall the original purple and green spotty themed layout I used when I started (what was I thinking?) Anyway, this marks my quarter Kiloblog. I wonder if I can copyright that new unit of measurement?

The photo above shows a large cargo ferry - the M.V Cymbaline, passing Erith whilst heading down the River Thames; we do get some interesting river traffic from time to time. Click on the photo for a larger version. You can see more of my photos on my Flickr photo site here.

TV Chef and namesake Hugh Fernley Whittingstall has been encouraging people to eat more game in his most recent television series - in fact he has been paying especial attention to the large number of wild rabbits that have been raiding his extensive vegetable garden. As a child, I often used to eat rabbit, usually in the form of a casserole; the meat was very cheap, tasty and nutritious. As the years have passed, rabbit has become more and more difficult to obtain. Supermarkets don't stock the meat, and the only places locally that you can buy it are the specialist butchers like Dennis of Bexley, where is is rather expensive - rather than the free peasant food it was of yore. I think the main reason for this is that people nowadays associate rabbits as pets or cuddly toys, rather than as the fast breeding and destructive rodents they actually are in the wild. I think rabbits have had rather better P.R than they deserve in the last couple of decades.

Local free radio station WNKR are still on 1395 KHz medium wave, as Big L despite all of their publicity and bluster have failed to come back on air. WNKR have said they will move to another frequency as soon as Big L come back, but so far there has been no sign of activity. On further radio related news, I have read two long posts on a radio chat site from my old boss and mentor Peter Moore, the manager of Radio Caroline. He's a far more intelligent and thoughtful man than he credits himself with. I have reproduced a piece from him below which is actually from two chat room posts of his, with slight edits for content and continuity. Here is Peter Moore writing about his relationship with Radio Caroline creator, the inimitable and somewhat eccentric Ronan O'Rahilly:

Someone asked the question about myself and Ronan and the thread was getting multi faceted so I started a new one. The situation from when the mast came down, to the raid and the shipwreck and Spectrum taking what Ronan thought was ' his ' frequency on 558 undoubtedly damaged him. Thereafter he tried to get, or said he was trying to get, his third world licence but to no avail. He also obsessively tried to prosecute the UK and Dutch governments for the raid. Initially the advice we were given by various notable solicitors was that we had a good case, but this was watered down as time went by. Whenever a law firm told us that our case was not sound, Ronan would regard them as traitors, even though he had chosen them and we had to start all over again with a new firm.

A great deal of money ( some of it mine ) was spent on legal action right in to the start of this decade but it came to nothing. I know that Ronan was disinterested in our attempts to get on air in a minor way, although we viewed it as being better than nothing. But he did show up when I asked him, to either show solidarity or to meet the media.

As the years passed the contact between us became less and less, but he reappeared when the Richard Curtis film was announced, in the hope that we could jointly sue Universal Pictures. But there was no basis for this. The film did not purport to be Radio Caroline and none of the actors were recognisable as a real Caroline personality. Now I see Ronan about four times a year. Each time I have to remind him where the ship is. We mostly talk about the old days, which is nice.

I think he lost interest in Caroline many years ago and the new technology is a mystery to him. Of course he will be welcome to get involved again if he ever wishes to. Having worked for and with Ronan since 1986 and actually having first met him in 1970, he is mostly as much a mystery to me and he is to all of you. I could take a guess at where he lives in Chelsea, but he would never confirm nor indeed deny his actual location. I do not have his phone number and if I need to contact him I use a go between.

He is in a relationship ( I think ) but will not confirm or deny that he is married. When he is not in the UK he is sometimes in Ireland, but I know not where, he only says that he is off to ' The Emerald ' which means anywhere in Ireland. Due to the relationship that he may or may not have, he is sometimes in France.

He is capable of driving, but never drives and has no car in any case. Where he once used black cabs and met me only in restaurants, he now uses the underground and we sit drinking tea in my office. He will not drink milk or have any sugar, he never touches alcohol and if he drinks water he has to see it poured from a previously sealed bottle.

He never discusses his income, but he has never worked, in the conventional sense . He is always immaculately turned out, but in old and inexpensive clothes.

Often he still uses an alias. I think that ( same as me to a degree ) through having no rules to follow and nobody to answer to, he has ritualised his life and now is almost trapped by ritual. He is good at saying as lot without actually saying anything at all. He deflects questions with counter questions and if he ever gets angry it is because someone has got too close to the truth. All in all a fascinating and complex chap. He did say that once his parents were no longer alive he might then tell the story of his life, but I have my doubts that this will ever happen.

In 1970 he was my hero but this is not the case today, I just like him and indeed feel a bit sorry for him.I mean, you may see a fabulous oil painting in a gallery and think it is an utter work of art, but if you go right up to it you see that it is really just a collection of dabs and daubs of different colour paint.

It is the same painting, but the mistake was to get too close to it.

Personally I think that that is an exceptionally well written and thoughtful article on a complex and mysterious man; I have known Peter for twenty years and although he has written a couple of booklets that have been privately published, I would love for him to write a full and authoritative account of his experiences with Radio Caroline. I for one would pay good money to read it.

I would love to be able to take credit for the excellent photo above - it shows the mountains around Keswick in Cumbria, captured in moody monochrome. It was taken by fellow photographer Olly Rolfe on a recent holiday to the area; personally I think the shot looks like it could have come from the cover of The Joshua Tree by U2. Click the photo for a much bigger version.

I have again been commuting to Birmingham a couple of times over the past week; It is a long journey, taking around four hours each way. On Friday, I took a Virgin  Pendolino train from Euston to Birmingham New Street, I was sat opposite two blokes who turned out to be overly enthusiastic  Birmingham based double glazing salesmen. They spent the entire journey droning on in slightly adenoidal voices about double glazing ("stainless steel is going to be the next big thing") interspersed with low squeaks and gastric rumbles, accompanied by a strong smell of curried eggs and boiled cabbage - one of them had what might well have been terminal flatulence.

It was a slightly more pleasant return journey - as I walked along the carriage to the loo, I noticed a middle aged chap wearing chunky headphones, sat at one of the seats with a table. He had a laptop, and was running what looked like Cubase on it - he was mixing an audio track. On my return to my seat I had a further look at him - and I realised that it was Jazzie B (OBE) - the Ivor Novello award winning songwriter, producer, radio presenter and creator of Soul II Soul. For someone who has a reputation based on the world of soul and urban music, he was wearing a Queen T - shirt (the design was the cover of their 1978 album "Jazz" which could well have been a play on words with his nickname). When I sat back down I could hear him on his mobile phone, apparently talking to his daughter who had managed to lock herself out of her flat.

Bexleyheath Asda supermarket made it into the national press on Friday - in an unusual and slightly surreal way. Some Chavs stole a sheep from a farm in Gravesend, then drove it up to the Asda store, put it into a shopping trolley and pushed it into the shop. The photo below shows an image captured from Asda's closed circuit television system and the moment the sheep entered the shop. You can read more about the story on the BBC News website by clicking here. Quite what it was all about is still a mystery.

The whole of the North End area of the borough of Bexley has absolutely appalling terrestrial digital television coverage; Justin, aka Crash Calloway came round in the week - he had bought a new digital TV, only to find the signal from his existing antenna was insufficient to get any picture from his new purchase, and the service company that manages his apartment building is not considering upgrading the shared aerial system to receive the weaker digital signals until some time next year. The television got returned to the shop. I have encountered a similar situation. A few months ago I purchased a digital free view receiver for my Apple Mac; I could not get a signal from it, even when I bought an external antenna and R.F amplifier. I subsequently discovered from Dave Martin of WNKR that the local signal comes from the Wrotham, Kent transmitter site, and the power has been turned down as to not interfere with the French! This is not much help to local people. I will stick with my Sky+ satellite receiver for the present, I think.

On Wednesday evening I attended a public meeting in the Baptist church hall in Queen Street, Erith. The occasion was the launch of a neighbourhood watch scheme for both Manor and Crescent road. The meeting was attended by representatives of the local community, Bexley Neighbourhood Watch Association, and the local Safer Neighbourhood team from the Police. The meeting was a great success, though it would have been nice if a few more local residents had attended. All those residents in the new watch catchment area will automatically be receiving an information pack with accompanying letter within the next couple of weeks. There will be help on securing ones' property, Neighbourhood Watch stickers to put in your house windows to deter burglars, as well as details on how to get your valuables marked with SmartWater. We will be getting metal warning signs added to several local lamp posts, and the residents will have a much improved ability to feed back to the local police in respect of  local law and order issues. All good stuff.

This weeks' video is a future classic - it has already been viewed online nearly seven million times at the time of writing. This is the Muppets with their version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Farm Foods and the Fuzz.

There has been some development work going on adjacent to the Farm Foods ("for when Iceland is just too upmarket") store in Erith town centre for the last week or so. Initially I had concerns that it was the beginning of the development of the nightclub that has been planned to take over the former Tease (and before that "T's" site - the owners were not exactly brimming with imagination). I then saw the Farm Foods notice erected on the hoarding, and subsequently opined that the down market supermarket chain was expanding the floor area of their store. I am extremely pleased to announce that I have now discovered that the development is actually a Safer Neighbourhoods office for the Metropolitan Police. It is due to open in February next year. Hopefully the Police will start cracking the skulls of the local chavs and low lives forthwith. This hopefully may bring some discipline and law to the area, for which it is currently sorely lacking.

On a similar law and order theme, there will be a public meeting this coming Wednesday the 25th November in the Baptist Church in Queen Street, Erith at 8pm. It will be to launch a Neighbourhood Watch scheme for the area, and all local residents are invited to attend; I will be going along, as I think the organisation of a neighbourhood watch scheme is greatly overdue.

In the great British tradition of exhibiting suggestively shaped vegetables and mocking inappropriately named foreign consumer products, below is a small photo showing a popular brand of Vietnamese toilet paper, apparently made from "100% virgin pulp". Quite, ahem.

I have been spending some time in Birmingham over the last week; you may well recall my distaste for travel, and this has indeed been somewhat trying. The journey from home, first to London Bridge, then via the Northern Line tube (now twinned with Gehenna), to Euston Station, and thence to Birmingham New Street via the Virgin Trains service. It takes almost four hours door to door - a not inconsiderable venture. Demands of work mean I will be doing this commute on a semi regular basis until some time around Christmas.

Birmingham has a German market each Christmas, apparently the largest one outside of Germany. You can read all about it by clicking here.

You will by now have gathered I am quite a fan of the select, exclusive and somewhat quirky Bristol Cars. I have been surfing round a couple of the Bristol enthusiasts websites, and have found a couple of photos of their forthcoming Blenheim 4 coupe, none of which have to my knowledge made it into the mainstream press yet. The Blenheim 4 is an evolution of the Blenheim 3 model with all new panels, a revised interior with more extensive use of the highest grade of Connolly leather, and a brand new compact and more powerful air conditioning system. The cars are designed to be practical  and discreet daily transport for owners that prize subtle and understated engineering excellence over flashy ostentation. Prices start at around £165,000. You can have the vehicle customised to your own specifications. More photos of the new Blenheim model can be viewed here. Click here for the Bristol Car Company website. Somehow I don't think I will be placing an order for one any time soon. If I had the necessary funds (which unfortunately I most decidedly don't), I would opt for the Blenheim 4 S (sports model) in midnight blue with a cream leather with midnight blue piped interior, and Linn car hifi system. Dream on...

 

I was travelling back from Birmingham on Wednesday afternoon. The carriage I was in was relatively empty upon departure from New Street, but when it stopped at Coventry, a group of around 20 Hassidic Jews got on and filled the carriage around me. They sat down and began a debate along the length of the carriage, in a language that sounded more like Hebrew than Yiddish (though I am hardly qualified to judge, being entirely ignorant of either language). After a short time they were getting extremely heated - it would appear that some kind of academic argument was being conducted. Voices were raised and fingers pointed. I hunkered down in my seat and tried not to be too conspicuous. Only an hour's further journey time to Euston, fortunately. For some reason I seem to attract the more opinionated and dynamic breed of theologians; as I wrote only a few weeks back when I encountered a rather eccentric coven of Catholic priests and a nun whilst quietly eating my lunch in the Robin Hood and Little John.

For your information, if you leave a comment on the Maggot Sandwich, it will  not appear immediately as it used to. I have been suffering spam attacks from a Chinese pharmaceutical supplier, and also a script kiddie has been trying (unsuccessfully) to try a SQL injection hack via the Blogger comments function in order to try and take control of my blog. Consequently I have activated comment moderation. I will manually check all submissions before publication. It should at worst mean waiting a day to see your thoughts and feedback appear on the site.

Local photographer Justin (often referred to by his alter ego, Crash Calloway) has taken some fresh shots, both of the local area and in and around London, following his successful exhibition in Erith Library - mentioned a few weeks ago on the humble Maggot Sandwich. You can see his Flickr photo stream here.

I wonder if there is a secret cabal of local pensioners who have arranged to all go shopping on Saturday mornings. I was in Morrison's at around 11am on Saturday morning; all I had popped in for was a packet of prawns which I was going to add to the Kedgeree I was cooking for Mum and myself when I visited her later that day. I would estimate that something like 50 per cent of the shoppers in the supermarket were those past retirement age. I appreciate that one can run out of certain ingredients at unpredictable times, but it seems past the wit of man to have so many retired people in the place at that time. They can shop as and when they please, whilst most working people are limited to evenings and weekends.  I think it is a plot to keep the younger generation on their toes...

I am becoming more and more convinced that Pooshun will not re-open. They have taken down the notices featured in last weeks' blog entry, and peering through the whitewash covering the windows, it would appear that absolutely no refurbishment work has been carried out at all. Chairs and stools are atop the tables, and the till is still powered up, but other than that, the place is empty and desolate. Whilst personally being no fan of the establishment, I am sorry that a local business would seem to have failed. Upon reflection, it would seem that opening a bar at the height of the recession in August last year was not the best of moves - the level of disposable income in Erith is not high at the best of times, and this was decidedly not the best of times. More news as it happens.

The video clip this week is the long trailer for the two part Doctor Who Christmas special. It was originally shown on Fridays' "Children in Need" and has now found its way onto YouTube. The second part of the story will see the demise of the tenth Doctor, and his subsequent regeneration.  Please feel free to leave a comment below.

Pooshun pushing up the daisies?

The photos above were taken by me on Friday afternoon. They show the outside of Erith bar Potion; as previously mentioned, the placing of the umlaut over the "o" means that the correct pronunciation is "Pooshun", not that I think the owners actually realise this. The notices say that the place is closed for refurbishment. It must have led a tough life, as the bar only opened in September last year - not exactly long ago, and certainly not long enough to justify a drastic amount of remedial building action. All I can think is that the owners have decided on a different look and feel to the place. In its' original incarnation the bar never really seemed to attract a large number of visitors, excepting maybe when narcisstic perma tanned chav nobody Peter Andre bowled up to promote his atrocious single at the place not that long ago. I will be keeping tabs on the development of the place - more news as it happens.

The excellent Kenneth Williams' based play "Stop Messing About" that Ian and I saw back in May is now on tour. It will be making an appearance at the Orchard Theatre in Dartford in March next year; I have my seat booked already.

What exactly in the evolutionary scheme of things is the point of wasps? They don't pollinate flowers and crops like bees, they don't appear to act as food for other creatures, and they don't perform any function to assist in the normal running of the natural world. They seem to be completely without reason or function, like a type of blinged up fly with an aggressive attitude and a great big sting. Personally I kill any wasp I encounter - they are horrid, nasty creatures that we would collectively be better off without. I came across one on a train between Watford and London in the week, which I considered unusual, as I thought they would have now all died out for the year due to the relatively low temperatures. Pity they ever come back.

You can view my photos online by clicking the link to my Flickr account here.

Ian snapped the photo below for me to include in this weeks' Maggot Sandwich - he took it a couple of roads from the family seat; it really makes one wonder about the levels of spelling and grammar taught today. I don't think that they make Tippex for garage doors.

I see from the News Shopper that former deput London Mayor and ex pupil of Picardy School Ian Clement has been photographed undergoing his community service.  You can see more of him by clicking here. Nice to see that he gets a proper punishment for what was a relatively minor offence, in comparison with a number of his colleagues sitting in Parliament.

Recently I have had a couple of Maggot Sandwich readers expressing surprise at the fact that I do not own a mobile telephone. I figure that they probably have not been readers of my weekly missives for that long. For their benefit, I recycle some ancient electrons by linking back to a very old post indeed.

I have been surfing round YouTube, looking at all sorts of old video clips. I found the following excerpt from a late 1970's documentary about the U.S nuclear deterrent, that was produced with the complete approval and assistance of the American military. It is rather on the depressing side, and does somewhat ignore the second strike capability of the "Boomer" fleet of ballistic nuclear submarines. A period piece, well worthy of a quick watch. Please feel free to post a comment below.

I see from notices in the local newspapers and publicity material at various local railway stations that the vile Oyster card system is to be extended to the Dartford to Charing Cross / Cannon Street via Greenwich line. I for one am resolutely against this; Oyster is a major intrusion into privacy (all journeys are recorded and tracked as you swipe in a and swipe out; this information is stored on a gigantic database for over two years - something that is illegal under the data protection act, as they do not inform you of this juicy bit of prying). I have heard people counter this by saying "but Oyster is cheaper than paying cash" which sounds like a persuasive argument, until one realises that Red Ken merely upped the cash price to make the Oyster price look more attractive - it is all spin. I will resist Oyster for as long as practically possible. I don't want to be tracked - just like every owner of a mobile phone is, though most do not have any idea of it. As soon as your mobile telephone is switched on, you can be tracked and triangulated to within a couple of metres, anywhere on the planet that has mobile phone reception. This is on top of the handset pickling your cranium with microwaves. No thank you.



Take a good look at this photo I took of Erith Riverside Gardens - it is entirely possible they won't be around for too much longer -  here is a transcript of a recent article from the News Shopper:

THE community forum which represents the townspeople of Erith is demanding a radical rethink of plans to regenerate the riverside area of the town. The Erith Western Gateway project which would have seen a multi-million pound makeover of 13 riverfront areas of the town, collapsed in February when the chosen developer, housebuilders Crest Nicholson, pulled out because of the credit crunch.

Now Erith’s town forum, always unhappy with the proposals, has suggested the council looks again at the project. It is questioning whether some of the Erith Western Gateway sites should be included in the regeneration project, saying the top of Pier Road should be included, but Riverside Gardens and Carrack House and Bosworth House tower blocks, should be removed. Townspeople have always opposed plans for more high rise blocks of flats. Now the forum says the proposed 700 new homes are too many. In a letter to the council the forum says families need houses with gardens, not flats. It added: “Other parts of the borough must take their share. “Erith already has too many blocks of flats. It would be disastrous to build more.” The forum wants plans for a hotel on the site of the former Walnut Treet Road depot dropped, especially as no hotel chain has shown any interest, and replaced with offices or light industry. It claims more shops in the project area will only be needed if empty shops in the shopping centre are filled. And it says more should be done to attract facilities the town needs, such as another bank, launderette and a high quality restaurant open at night. The forum suggests more community facilities such as a soft play centre, an outside adventure park and somewhere to relocate the highly successful Europa Gym Club which desperately needs a new home. It wants the Carnegie building, formerly Erith library, open to the public, possibly as the town museum, and two-way traffic restored to Bexley Road. Bexley says it still plans to press ahead with the project and is looking at earlier master plans including Crest Nicholson’s proposals. It wants a project which will be financially attractive to developers and bring the benefits it is looking for. It says revised proposals will go to public consultation next year. 

I sincerely hope that the feedback from Erith Town Forum falls on receptive ears; the building of more flats would be a terrible idea without development of better infrastructure - and a proper restaurant, rather than another horrible greasy fast food outlet would be extremely welcome. I realise Erith would not support anything too elaborate, such as a fine dining establishment, but even something like Wagamama or Nandos would be great.


It is not often that a television advert really impresses me; there is one I have seen recently that does fit this description. I cannot comment, and in no way endorse the company being promoted, or the products they sell, but the one minute mini movie really stuck in my mind. See what you think below:

Poppies and the Phoenix.

I had a bit of a journey into the recent past yesterday evening; Ian's new band,  (pictured above) played their first gig with him as frontman / vocalist at the Phoenix pub in Dartford. I ended up with my clothes, hair and skin reeking of tobacco smoke - something that I thought was now a relic of the past. The pub, which is a hotbed of neo Nazi followers if the conversations I overheard were anything to go by, is also the home to a fairly large number of apparently infirm and ancient bikers. The landlady positively encourages smokers within the premises - despite this being completely illegal under current anti smoking laws. The venue was a haze of cigarette smoke and the memory of the disgusting, unhealthy and criminal stench clings to me still. The band played well, under very uncomfortable circumstances, and were enthusiastically received by the crowd composed of a variety of geriatric neanderthals, along with a smattering of relatively normal people, who I guess had turned up specifically to see the band. The band had to set up their equipment in front of the entrance to both the male and female toilets; during their set, a number of women had to make their way onto the "stage" in order to gain access to the loo. Strangely the same was not the case with the straggly haired, portly and  extensively tattooed male population of the cesspit of a hostelry; I later discovered they were venturing outside in order to urinate up one of the pubs' external walls. Enchanting. The Phoenix should be nuked from space; it is most definitely the dirtiest, scruffiest, smelliest establishment that houses a well past their sell by date biker gang, who would mainly be advised to hang up their sweaty and grime encrusted leathers and take to a bath chair. One of the side rooms in the noxious hostelry housed a rusty Kawasaki motorbike in its' final death throes; it appeared to be being broken for spares. Inside a pub. Yup.

Erith has been sounding like the outskirts of Basra for the last few nights, as the fireworks have been let loose for yet another year. Teeming rain, wind and other meteorological nasties do not seem to deter the revellers. It seems strange that all these years on from the events of the gunpowder plot, we still commemorate what could conceivably have become Britain's' first case  of suicide bombing.

It sometimes seems that every person over the age of 55 is almost automatically issued with a mobility scooter if they live locally. These mini vehicles are a boon to those who would otherwise be confined  to a wheelchair, or otherwise stuck indoors with limited contact with the outside world. I have to counter this with the observation that a small but significant minority use these vehicles as devices of terror; I have been forced to jump from the pavement out of the way and into the oncoming traffic twice in the last week due to the inconsiderate actions of demon scooterists. I know of one chap only in his mid 30's who rides a mobility scooter around Erith town centre who is actually fully able bodied, but just does not like to walk – I have seen him running around the Riverside Gardens, playing football with his two young sons on several occasions. Most locals think he is genuinely disabled, not realising he is really just a bone idle waster.  Mobility scooters seem to vary in size and capability from something little more than a deluxe motorised bar stool with a pair of handle bars, to a vehicle almost worthy of the title of an electric car. I think the way they interact with pedestrians and the regulations that pertain to their use could do with a bit of a makeover.

This month marks the 30th anniversary of the release of The Wall by Pink Floyd. I recall clearly as a child when my dad brought the double album home, and we sat in near darkness to listen to it.  I also recall listening to Tommy Vance on the Radio 1 Friday Rock Show, when he first played “Comfortably Numb” - he let the music fade to silence, and said “There are insufficient superlatives in the English language to describe that track”.

On a different note, I should be taking delivery of my two pieces of abstract art from up and coming London based artist, David Zimmer.  I will be posting photos of my two acquisitions on line shortly.

The humble Maggot Sandwich is now being read by several local councillors and an aspiring MP; read through some of the recent comments and you will see their input.

This years' Poppy appeal seems to have inspired the public to be especially generous – the current situation in Afghanistan notwithstanding.  Personally I would pay a premium for a small metal poppy badge, in preference to the usual plastic and paper poppy; not many blokes wear jackets with button holes nowadays, and fixing the current poppy design does not lend itself to mobility between clothing forms. I got my poppy at the earliest opportunity, with a substantial donation. I fixed it to my brown tweed jacket and have worn it with pride; As the week has gone on, and the weather has become more wintry, I have swapped to  heavier coat – with no lapels. I have been walking past poppy sellers, inexplicably feeling guilty, as it looks like I have not contributed towards the charity appeal, even though I have. Normally I am not a person who gives much consideration to what others think, but for some reason I get a guilty feeling whenever I walk past a poppy seller when I have not been wearing one.

One of the down sides of being a daily user of public transport is the unwanted exposure to the belly button fluff caught in the filter of the UK's gene pool. I was on the aforementioned 99 bus earlier this week when a scruffy looking Chav got on and sat adjacent to me. To use the vernacular, he was "ripped to the tits", probably on Ecstasy. His eyes were like saucers, and he was eager to engage anyone in aimless conversation. I was fortunate to be able to move away to another part of the lower deck. To add to this, I was on the 99 again on Saturday as it drew slowly into Bexleyheath; a dishevelled and creepy looking bloke hammered on the driver's protective shield and demanded to be let off the bus whilst it waited at at the traffic lights; the reason stated was that he only had a few minutes left to sign on at Bexleyheath Police station in order to comply with the terms of his bail. Maybe he should have left home earlier then, or better still, not committed the crime in the first place.

Open warfare with the local scum is something I avoid unless inevitable – and there is not much room to swing a steel toecapped boot on a bus.

After the tribulations I experienced upgrading my Asus EeePC 901 netbook to Ubuntu 9.10 Linux, I ended up doing a clean install, which was far less eventful and much more productive. This entry is being written on the tiny machine, whilst sitting in the Robin Hood and Little John.  The webcam now works again – not that it is something I use very often. An impromptu photo of me at work on this update is below for your edification. Ahem.

You can catch an excellent performance by virtuoso multi instrumentalist Booker T Jones in a concert he played at this years' Cambridge Festival that was shown earlier in the week on BBC4. It is currently available on the BBC iPlayer here.

One TV show I miss, but can sometimes catch on reruns on channels like Bravo is the original “Make Better” show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”. The show originally ran from 2003 – 2007 and I watched it avidly. The makeover idea of five gay guys making over a style needy straight guy did have limited scope, but it was definitely fun whilst it lasted. A fact that not many know is that I applied to be a straight guy candidate for the UK version of the show, but did not get selected.

As I have previously mentioned, I am not an avid early adopter of new technology. For me, it needs to justify itself before I will take the plunge. A typical example of this is Sky and their High Definition TV offering. I am still using a CRT television with a bog standard Sky+ box; I will only upgrade when my current setup turns up its' toes. Personally I am singularly unimpressed with hi def – I don't actually think it is particularly good.The whole hi def standard is shortly to undergo an upgrade to even higher resolution, and consequent greater bandwidth, so a further purchase of new equipment will then be required.

Fellow local photographer Justin Bailey has an exhibition currently showing in the new Erith Library – do get along there to view his work, I think you will find it a worthwhile trip. Go through the main entrance and turn a sharp right, and you will see his work on display.

The video clip this week is an except from Billy Connolly's stage show, where he talks about the preparations he had to make before a medical coloscopy. Not for the squeamish, but very funny.

Buses and Bread Jazz.

The 99 bus route between Woolwich and Bexleyheath has been undergoing more richly deserved flak; the buses bunch up - you can find yourself waiting 30 minutes or more, only to have three turn up at once. I recently spoke to a bus controller at Plumstead, who said they were acutely aware of the problem. He said that it was partly caused by the convoluted journey around the houses at the Slade Green part of the route. They inherited this from the old 469 route, which used the smaller and more agile single deck buses. The 99 uses double deckers as shown in the photo above (click for a larger view). These have difficulty in navigating the narrow streets around Slade Green station, especially if there are a lot of parked cars. Apparently the bus company have asked to modify the route, and this is currently in consideration by Transport for London. I have been doing some research into the who bus clumping issue, and it would appear to be a phenomenon that has undergone some academic research; you can read an article about the subject from New Scientist by clicking here.

Additionally (and who says I don't plan these things?) I have developed a new theory over the past couple of weeks. It encompasses irregular and unreliable public transport, the woeful lack of public toilets in this country nowadays, and the propensity which many have for going out for a quiet pint on the odd occasion. I call my theory Wee Mileage. The aforementioned factors create an artificial boundary as to how far one can travel from home, if intending to indulge in a tipple whilst out and about. Once you have left the hostelry at the end of the evening, there is a finite amount of time available for travelling before one will be compelled to pump ones' bilges. Obviously this will vary between individuals and their personal bladder capacity / ability to hold on, the amont of liquid they have imbibed, and the ambient air temperature.  I am presupposing that one does not cheat and avail oneself of a convenient bush or dark alley. Wee mileages seem to be higher when employing a cab, mainly due to the fact one can take a last minute leak before starting the journey, and the cab will take you door to door with no waiting around at a chilly bus stop or draughty railway platform with the bladder clock ticking. This is the principal reason that I have never attended the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival at Earl's Court. The exhibition hall is admirably equipped with public conveniences, but once you leave the venue and head back to civilisation from West London the trouble starts. One would have to navigate the tube back to Charing Cross (it is possible to make a loo visit there - though if memory serves, they have the temerity to require an admission fee). After this it is fifty minutes overland by train to Erith, in a train that has a loo - but that is always locked and out of use to stop vandalism. Just too much to endure - and thus far too high a wee mileage for me to even consider.

I am sure that someone more mathematically inclined could reduce this set of half formed musings into an equation. I did start making some rough drawings of an engineering solution to the problem; my solution involved some rubber or polypropylene hose, a small tap, and a couple of rubber bands. The whole idea was to create a pipe from ones' underwear, which would lead down your trouser  leg to one side of the foot. When the user felt the need for relief where no conveniences were available, he could stand over a drain or gutter,  turn the tap and let rip at leisure. Passers by would be none the wiser. My solution was modelled on the system of trouser based bags used in The Great Escape to dispose of the tunnelling earth - they dropped it out of the bottom of each trouser leg, then scuffed it in. I excitedly told Ian of my invention, only for him to tell me that the Japanese have been marketing such devices for several years. My dreams of fame and fortune were shattered; I had hoped to do for weeing in public what Trevor Bayliss has for the wind up radio. Oh well.

One thing I really appreciate at work is the fact our lunches are heavily subsidised; we have a choice of several hot dishes including a vegetarian option; there are a wide variety of pre packed rolls and sandwiches, jacket potatoes with various fillings and a large salad bar. One real clincher for me is the custom sandwich and baguette bar - the catering staff will make up a totally bespoke sandwich from a wide variety of fresh ingredients at your request. You can really go to town and point out some really unusual filling combinations - a sort of free form bread jazz, if you will.

I have found online a short ten minute documentary all about the world's smallest country. Many people in the U.K are totally unaware that this tiny sovereign state exists a few miles off the Essex coast. It is the old sea fort, the Roughs Tower, located seven miles outside Harwich, which is now more properly known as The Principality of Sealand.  Years ago, whilst I was working for Radio Caroline, I was offered the chance to spend a few weeks on board Sealand. I used to spend many evenings talking to Sealand's chief engineer, Mike Barrington using an old CB radio on the bridge of Caroline's ship the Ross Revenge. Barrington had formerly worked as no. 2 engineer on Caroline, so he was a great source of information and advice for me - almost like a technical support helpline via radio. For various scheduling reasons, I never made it onto Sealand. Something I regret today, as it would have been instructive.

Following last weeks' video clip and comments in respect of Steel Panther, their gig at Wembley Arena in support of ZZ Top was reviewed in the Times - click here to read it.

Viz magazine celebrates its' 30th birthday this week; I read it on a semi regular basis, and I am a dedicated fan of their Profansisaurus.

October the 28th was Climate Fool's Day. This was set up to mark the sceptics' view on the climate change debate. It is safe to assume that many people have started to become sceptical concerning the dynamics of so called man made climate change. In recent years there have been seen to be many inconsistencies in the proposition that we have changed the Earth's climate with our pollution. You can read more about the Climate Realist's views here. Personally I can see valid arguments on both sides, but it does currently seem only one opinion is given any public air time, and if you question the science used by the global warming people, one gets looked at as a crank. I am just asking for a more open and informed debate based on sound, verifiable science, rather than the current half baked new age hippy clap trap we currently have to suffer.



I have spent the last couple of days with my Asus EeePC mini netbook (photo above), trying to update the operating system from Ubuntu Netbook remix 9.04 to 9.10. Something that should normally be pretty straightforward and painless. Not this time unfortunately. Many applications broke, or had weird unexpected dependancies. I ended up hosing the installation and starting from scratch. I have told the Asus that if it does not behave, it could end up with PC BSD Unix on it instead...

In my only minor concession to last nights' Halloween shenanigans, I have found the following video online; it is a cover version of Ray Parker Jr's seminal early 80's hit "Ghostbusters" from the excellent comedy horror movie of the same name. The band are called Hoobastank - and no, I have not heard of them either. See what you think and feel free to leave a comment below, as always.

Typos and Whoppers.

The photos above come from an advertising flyer that came through my door earlier this week. The church in question has patently spent a small fortune on pre and post production of the leaflet; it is on heavy, glossy high quality card, and it would appear that both time and care have been lavished on the design. It is a pity that this is shot down by a woeful disregard for the rules of spelling and typography. If you click on either image for a much larger view, you will see what I mean. I have no axe to grind with the organisation whatsoever; it does seem that they are shooting themselves in the foot though; they would in my opinion be better served by getting their publicity material proof read by someone who had a clue about such things. Talking of leaflets and other publicity materials, I got a pizza delivery leaflet from the far flung outpost of civilisation that is Greenhithe. Greenhithe - even as the (stolen) welly flies, that has got to be at least eight miles distant. Who in their right mind would order a bread based snack meal from so far away? And what deranged scooterist would relish such an arduous journey to deliver what would be a soggy and cold repast by the time it eventually reached the hungry customer? Utter madness. I have been running an informal competition to see from how far away fast food companies will leaflet me, and currently this one is by far the leader.

I have just found out some disappointing, but not totally unexpected news. The Robin Hood and Little John will not be competing in the 2010 Bexley Pub of the Year competition. Bexley CAMRA have changed their rules, preventing a pub that has won competition the previous year from entering on the subsequent year; bearing in mind that the Robin  Hood and Little John has won hands down every single time for the last ten years, it is hardly surprising – until now the competition has really been about who was going to come second to them anyway. Secretly, I think landlord Ray is quite relieved; the relentless back to back wins were becoming a tad embarrassing.

This weekend marks a number of notable anniversaries; it is the 594th anniversary of the English victory at the Battle of Agincourt, and it is also the 40th anniversary of the release of Led Zeppelin 2. The album that brought us Thank You, the Lemon Song, and the seminal Whole Lotta Love. I have a private theory about the vinyl version of the album, that side two was actually pressed with a scratch already on it – I have never encountered the record without a scratch somewhere on it, even when purchased new. BBC 4 broadcast an interesting concert last night – Kraftwerk live, recorded in 2004 – probably the single most influential electronic group ever. You can watch the concert on BBC iPlayer here.

There have been a number of developments in the field of computer operating systems this week; We have had the much publicised launch of Windows 7 from Microsoft, The photo above is of a genuine  seven patty promotional burger on limited edition sale in Japan by Burger King to mark the launch of Windows 7 – vulgar and distasteful are words that immediately spring to my mind; in a world contrasted by the obese, overfed minority and the starving masses, it strikes me as being a very poorly thought out publicity tool. This commercial product from Microsoft is contrasted by the release of the free and open source Ubuntu 9.10 Linux operating system which has been published to the world. Windows 7 is meant to be a great improvement on the previous horrendous abomination that was Vista, even though Windows 7  is really not that much more than a glorified service pack to what was Vista. Most feedback has been encouraging; it would seem that the monster from Redmond has for once listened to users, and acted upon the hugely negative Vista feedback. Canonical,  producers of the leading Ubuntu Linux distribution, aim to produce a release every six months, the first in April and the second in the October of each year. Bearing in mind I am writing the blog content on my Ubuntu 9.04 netbook using Open Office 3.1, then uploading onto the cloud, where I further edit and polish with the additions of photos and multi media content on my Apple iMac 24” running OS X 10.6.1 Snow Leopard. Apple have not been shy of the update bandwagon either – they have launched a new range of astonishing upgrades to their hardware – you can see more here.

I was surfing around the web, looking at various suppliers of amateur radio equipment, when I stumbled upon the website of Continental Electronics. This American company have been in business for years; they are arguably the premier supplier of analogue broadcast transmitters in the world. You can visit their Wikipedia page here. If you have to ask how much this kind of kit costs, as the old saying goes, you could not afford it.

We are coming up to Halloween – that detestable American influenced pagan festival; the whole idea of “Trick or Treat” was imported in the 1980's after the release of the film “ET” in which dressing up to go trick or treating was an integral part of the plot; prior to this, Halloween was a relatively low level festival, in which most activities were based around the home, rather than involving kids traipsing around the neighbourhood, effectively demanding money with menaces. Pewty Acres is now remarkably well equipped to deal with such things.

Some years ago I had a nasty problem with my left knee; it became swollen and incredibly painful; I could not bend my leg for over six weeks, and ended up walking with a stick for around three months. I went to the doctor, who originally diagnosed gout, but after  being referred privately to the Blackheath Hospital and going through a battery of tests, I was told by my specialist that my uric acid levels were near normal - apparently raised uric acid in the blood is a  strong indicator of gout. Anyway, the orthopaedic surgeon wrote it off as "one of those things" and I never actually found out what the malaise really was. I have a slight touch of it again, though nothing like as severe as before; I reckon it is a combination of the darker, damper days of Autumn, mixed with old age and decrepitude.

I notice that there are currently a large number of TV adverts for an online dating service called E-Harmony; it all looks very fine and well meaning, but it has come to my attention that it is actually a front for an American evangelical Christian organisation seeking to make inroads to the UK - they have covertly held beliefs that do not concur with the image they portray in their TV commercials; I don't know if the Advertising Standards Authority are aware of this yet – the whole thing smacks of underhand conduct and misrepresentation, whichever way one looks at it.

Another thing that strikes me as being wrong on so many levels is the continued existence of the Chuckle Brothers – they are creepy in exactly the same way as circus clowns, with none of the wit or charm. Quite what small children find funny about two elderly, moustachioed, gurning Northerners prat falling around entirely passes me by – they look like two borderline sex cases out on licence. Be very afraid.

James May has come up with an interesting theory relating to the purchase of used cars; one should aim to outlay no more than £1 per cc of engine capacity for a general purpose run - around, or what he calls "an old biffer". For example, if you purchase an old car with a 2 litre engine, he postulates you should expect to pay no more than £2,000 for it. This is an interesting and somewhat thought provoking concept - your thoughts and comments below if you will.

I think we have now truly got to the point when absolutely everything conceivable is now online; to give an example, there is now even a website called pop that zit – I really could not make it up.



YouTube remains a quality repository of classic television adverts; who could forget the Secret Lemonade Drinker? Did you know that the music for the commercial was composed and performed by Elvis Costello's Dad, and that Costello junior featured on backing vocals? You learn something new every day.

Steel Panther are currently touring the UK in support of ZZ Top; personally I am looking forward to seeing them in their own show. They have been a massive success -  here in the embedded video below, they are in Japan, playing a live version of "Party All Day". This is about as politically incorrect as it gets around here. Warning - strong language featured in this clip.

Follow the Bear.

Erith is undergoing a bit of a revamp at present; what the design gurus refer to as a re-branding. Erith railway station is having a re-paint, to follow the building work that was undertaken a few months ago; the signalling and CCTV system has also undergone a much needed and overdue update. The photo above shows the new apartment building that also houses the new Erith Library. The shot was taken a couple of months ago, but the commercial units below the residential apartments still remain unlet - not a single one is yet occupied; they remain boarded up as shown in the photograph.

Local free radio station WNKR (West and North Kent Radio) may have to change their broadcast frequency again; regional medium wave vanity station Big L have apparently managed to secure further funding after they burned through their original start up capital, and were forced to lay off much of their work force last year. They have announced online that they intend restarting their AM service on the 1st of November on 1395KHz - exactly where WNKR sit every weekend. I suppose the lads will have to find another home somewhere else on the wave band. Dave Martin, WNKR's station manager visited the Bedford Beer Festival recently; you can read his account of the visit, and a very comprehensive list of the real ales on offer by clicking here.

Below is an aerial shot of Erith - the kind of view the Luftwaffe would have had in the 1940's, although Morrison's supermarket, the pier and Erith Riverside Centre would not have been there; maybe it's not such a good analogy after all. Click for a larger view.

Neighbour and professional session musician Earl reported yesterday that Morrison's had to carry out an emergency shutdown and customer evacuation as a large gang of the local Chav scumbags raided the place, causing chaos and consternation to the legitimate shoppers. The Police were called and a number of arrests were apparently made. When Captain Tweed gets to Number Ten, one of the first changes made to the criminal justice system will allow the courts to have such oxygen thieving,  benefits cheating, giant romper suit wearing pustules rendered down as soap on their second offence.  What we need around here is a real life Gene Hunt type old fashioned copper to really hammer the local low lives into place; that place either being as a law abiding and decent member of society, or if they decline to toe the line,  as the cell mate of a fat, bald guy called Bubba who wants someone to play Mummies and Daddies with. Ahem. Please post any objections below. I am not expecting much naysaying regarding this issue.

Local Erith photographer Crash Calloway, otherwise known as Justin Bailey has gained extra publicity for his forthcoming exhibition at Erith Library; local newspaper the News Shopper have run a story on him and his excellent works - you can read more about it here.

The extension to European Metal Recycling seems to be taking ages to finish; the former RMC Aggregates site adjacent to Morrison's car park at the junction of James Watt Way and Wheatley Terrace Road is only now getting a new fence - I caught the following photo earlier this afternoon; almost nothing seems to have happened to the site since I last wrote about it a couple of months ago.

YouTube is a great way of revelling in nostalgia; following my featuring the Chas & Dave Courage Best TV adverts a couple of weeks ago, Ian has thoughtfully dug up the seminal Hofmeister "Follow the Bear" commercial from around 1984; the lager was the usual cold, gassy and instantly forgettable 3.2% ABV rubbish that characterised the drinks of that era, but the commercial outlived the product, which was discontinued in 2003. See if you recall this advert - and feel free to leave a comment below.