The ode to Old Erith.

The photo above shows a guide dog puppy and Police officer at the launch of Hound Watch, which took place at the Pets at Home store on the Tower Retail Park in Crayford last Friday. The photo was taken by Dana Whiffen. You can read more about the Hound Watch project by clicking here.

Earlier in the week, I was on the 99 bus, heading for Bexleyheath, for lunch at the incomparably excellent Robin Hood and Little John pub in Lion Road. Nowadays I don’t use the local buses nearly as much as I did when my Dad was still alive – I used to visit him in his nursing home daily, which involved multiple bus journeys. Nowadays I only take the bus a couple of times a week; In a way I am glad – I used to regularly encounter various breeds of undesirables, which whilst sometimes annoying or distressing, did make for entertaining writing. Over the last couple of months I have had a couple of readers comment that I don’t seem to recount the kind of public transport related incidents that I used to. Well that is about to change. I was sitting on the lower deck of the 99, minding my own business, when a couple of women got on; they were chatting animatedly, and sat directly in front of me. After a few moments I began to notice an incredibly powerful stench of filth and stale urine wafting from the direction of one of the two ladies in front of me. She appeared to be in her early sixties and was shabbily dressed, but clearly not a homeless person. She looked like she had been wearing the same clothes for literally months. What was clear was that she was not obviously mentally ill (she was engaged in a detailed conversation with her companion) but she had obviously not washed in a very long time indeed, probably several months. Her fellow traveller seemed oblivious to all of this, and they continued their conversation whilst my eyes began to water with the incredibly noxious pong. Why someone would let themselves get into such a condition is way beyond me. I was just grateful to make a swift exit when the bus arrived in Bexleyheath – never has the diesel exhaust fumes of the bus halt been as welcomed as it was on this journey.

If you are a person who partakes of the forthcoming yuletide festivities, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a Happy Christmas. As I have written in previous years, I don’t send Christmas cards for a number of reasons. Primarily I think that the sending of cards nowadays has about as much relevance as the carrier pigeon – in Victorian times people used cards as a way of catching up with far flung friends and relatives during the festive season – something that is no longer relevant with instant worldwide communication and social media. Also, the manufacture and transportation of billions of cards worldwide is a huge waste of natural resources – they get looked at for a moment, then stuck on a table or shelf for a couple of weeks, then they are recycled, all of which uses valuable time and energy. I wonder how long it will be before the sending of physical Christmas cards becomes socially unacceptable? Your thoughts on this would be appreciated. I would also like to take the opportunity to thank all of the people who make the Maggot Sandwich possible – not only my occasional guest contributors, but the ladies and gents who feed me information relating to local issues and concerns, who by their very nature need to be anonymous. Happy festive season to one and all. See the video at the end of this weeks' update by means of a festive commemoration.

I have had many comments about the stunning fan - made "Wholock" Doctor Who / Sherlock video mashup I featured last week; It was done by a person who is amazingly proficient in the use of various video and CGI tools. This week I have found a video which shows exactly how the video clip was put together; which to my mind only increases my admiration for the creator - it truly is a work of extreme dedication and skill - see what you think below.
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I must admit that had I both more time and a larger garden, I would love to keep chickens (though I doubt my neighbours would be as keen). The thought of fresh eggs on a regular basis is something that a lot of people would like, but for most it remains an unfulfilled aspiration. The wholesomeness of garden produced chicken eggs is now being put into question; scientists in the USA have been studying the chemical composition of chicken eggs produced in urban gardens; they have discovered that in many suburban areas, the eggs contain a relatively high quantity of lead. Chickens love to root around in the ground, looking for worms and grubs which form part of their natural diet. In so doing, they ingest soil, and this soil in many occasions contains microscopic quantities of metallic lead, and lead salts. This comes from old buried lead water pipes, industrial waste and even from decades old car exhaust fumes – although lead additives in petrol has been banned for many years, the microscopic exhaust particulates still exist in the environment, as lead is a persistent pollutant that does not biodegrade. Interestingly, chicken eggs from commercial producers do not suffer this lead pollution, as they are farmed in a controlled environment, often in the countryside and further away from any potential source of pollution. The scientific study proved that the level of lead contamination in urban eggs closely tracked the level of lead found in the local environment. There is no accepted internationally agreed standard regarding contaminant levels in chicken eggs, but the researchers did discover that in the worst cases of contamination, the garden kept hens produced eggs with lead levels of 167 parts per billion, which roughly equates to the loss of one IQ point in a growing child who regularly consumes contaminated eggs. Cooking the eggs, or incorporating them in a recipe such as a cake will do nothing to remove lead contamination, unlike bugs like salmonella, which are killed by a couple of minutes of temperatures exceeding 100 degrees Celsius.  The lead is always there; the only way to ensure that domestic chickens don’t ingest any environmental lead is to ensure that their run is filled with clean and uncontaminated earth and gravel, along with additional calcium supplements to encourage strong shell growth. It will be interesting to see if any UK or European study will be undertaken; I suspect that any results would be comparable to the American study.

Over the last four or five years, I have noticed that the number of local houses with ambitious and showy external Christmas decorations has markedly decreased. There used to be an escalating cold war between a number of home owners to see who could make the most extravagant and over the top lighting display. Now common sense (and perhaps better taste) have prevailed. Most displays nowadays are more discreet.  I think the reasons for this are multiple; the cost of electricity has increased markedly in the intervening time, and metal thefts have sky rocketed – and nothing attracts a metal thief more than electrical cable, packed to the gills as it is with high quality copper. On top of this I think that in these times of cutbacks and redundancies, people are reluctant to appear as a conspicuous consumer. On top of these factors, I think that technology has also had an influence. Modern Christmas lights are now LED rather than incandescent bulb based, and these LED lights seem to be more subtle and discreet – as well as using a hell of a lot less electricity.

The photo above shows the Wheatley Hotel, which was located on what is nowadays the hideous fish sculpture roundabout which joins Queens Road, Bexley Road, and Bronze Age Way. When I originally posted this photo, I did so in good faith; I had been sent it a couple of weeks ago by a regular reader. It transpires that the copyright of the photo is actually owned by a chap called David Bradley, who runs the Trolley Bus website http://www.trolleybus.net/ - it would appear that I have inadvertently infringed on his copyright, for which I apologise. He's agreed to let me carry on using the shot with this explanation added. I hope to be picking David's brains on local transport very soon. In the foreground of the photo is a trolley bus; hopefully a reader can identify the make and model and give us some idea of roughly when the photo was taken. It has to be after 1935, as prior to this, trams were employed. The Wheatley Hotel was, as I have previously written, a railway hotel – a combination of pub and hotel in one. A contemporary advert for the place (thanks to my Mum for uncovering this) read thus:-

Wheatley Arms Hotel

Erith       ...... (Phone ERITH 2755)

Beasleys Light and Dark Ales and Stout

Best Quality Wines and Spirits

Board Residence             Luncheons

SNACKS AT BAR

Trolley bus No.698}

 Bus               No.  99}  TO DOOR

 "                   No. 480}

Opposite Erith Railway Station

________________________

Hallam & Co ., (VICTUALLERS) LTD.

RGD. Office - "Red Barn" Barnehurst                    Phone : ERITH 3172

Last weeks’ guest writer Alan Magin has again turned up a gem. Just in time for Christmas, he’s uncovered a poem – “Ode to old Erith” which was written by Erith resident Pat Watson back in 1982.  When the poem was written, Erith was at an all – time low. The old Victorian town centre had been demolished, and the much hated late 1960’s brutalist concrete shopping centre had taken its’ place. Much of the heavy industry had moved away from the town, bringing unemployment, and none of the current investors (principally Morrison’s) had yet made an appearance. Any copyright belongs to Pat Watson  – I am reproducing it to bring the poem to a wider audience. It is not exactly Shakespeare, but it does make for entertaining and timely reading.

Ode to old Erith

It was always a shabby, funny town, when I was small:

It’s only claim to fame, I suppose, was the River,

which ebbed and flowed in muddy brown and grey regularity,

providing an ever changing picture of dreams for the eyes of the young and old,

or the idle, to dwell upon.

It was always a strange, little, sprawling town,

with nothing at all of importance to merit a place in the shape of things to come.

Here it nestled, like a favourite, comfortable, patchwork shawl, the fringes of which tapered towards the creeks of Slade Green and Crayford;

dwelling a moment at Bexley and Welling;

crossing to Bedonwell and Bostal.

Beneath the folds haphazardly tumbled Northumberland Heath, with upper and lower Belvedere here, and Barnehurst there;

in between glowing a patch or two of changing green, as the woods and parks filtered through the embroidery of stitches

that held it together with fields and ditches;

eventually sweeping around and down

past Abbey Wood marshes

and back to the river.

It was always a friendly, squat, little town,

with industry forming a warming collar

around its neck; the ribbon of water wandering by firmly held in its place,

loosely tieing a flexible knot of strength

against the fogs and mists

of all that threatened the pattern of sleeping security.

Quickly, quickly, write it down 

before those that remember have long been forgotten,

with nothing to show

and no-one to know how reshaping

and raping could possibly happen,

and why such a garment lies in tatters,

threadbare and worn, and all that matters

is sadly forlorn and desolate now,

abandoned, exhausted-

and those that permitted such devastation

have gone, long gone …

moved on.

Just for a moment indulge in nostalgia,

name a few names for memory to conjure

the magic that hustled and bustled under

the harlequin cloak, before the plunder

of planning and banning and closing

tore the patches asunder.

The Causeway of old, with convenient railings

on which you could lean to gossip, and yarn,

and gaze on a scene of rocks, and mud,

and pools of water in which you could paddle,

when the tide was out, with wagers to swim

to the other side of the river –

there was even sand

for children to dabble.

Piers and jetties, chains and things,

wet warm timbers, ropes and rings

which held the dinghies and yachts and boats

buoys and floats bobbing

when the tide was in.

The fat black barges gliding by

with ochre brown sails riding high in the water

like graceful swans;

the diligent tugs, tooting and fussy,

pushing and shoving, eternally busy.

Tramps and Cruisers and Men-O-War;

Coasters and Colliers and Steamers galore;

port and starboard, for and aft,

every conceivable waterway craft,

casting off and heaving to –

the Pilot’s Hut with the tide times on view.

Regattas and pennants and flags a –blowing,

never-endingly coming and going watermen,

merchantmen, rowing and rowing-

straining backs and muscles aquiver,

Doggett Men too-

the pride of the River.

The coal, the grain, and the flown mill;

Fraser’s Pond and Bunker’s Hill-

the Cinder Path, the Rec’. the Terries,

the Seamen’s Home; picking blackberries.

The Ritz, the Rialto, the Oxford, the Rex;

the Locomotive- Sunday School texts.

The Cobbler, the Smithie; the disinfect can;

the Sea Scouts, the Saw Mills; the School Board Man.

Frank’s Park fireworks, Callender’s Band

tightly packed in the small bandstand.

The betting slips; the Registrar;

the Library Museum; the four-ale-bar;

little boys fishing with tiddlers 

in jar. 

The ‘Rose and Crown’ and the ‘Wheatley Arms’ ;

gipsy weddings, the crossing of palms.

St. Fidelis; ‘Bob-the-Devil’ ;

running round tombstones in the

Old Church yard to ward off evil;

the wicket gates at the level crossings.

Swiftly, swiftly, paper and pen,

put down the words and

remember them ……..

Gone are the Cobbles, the alleys,

the paths, the trams, the prams,

the open air baths.

Bye-Brothers; Linwood’s the Salvation Army

on Burton’s corner every Sunday.

The gutters, the shutters, the Home-and-Colonial;

the World Stores, the Maypole, the neatly professional 

patting of butter with spatulas wooden;

kippers for tea, faggots, pease pudding.

the Fibro; Selfe’s; Penton-and-Deans;

shrimps and cockles and coffee beans.

Starkey’s, and Randal’s printing presses;

the local paper done on the spot;

gammon from Davis; the wet-fish shop.

The hub of it all was Mitchell’s Store,

the very core of the town, with personal

assistants, yards of material measured

with care, the buttons, the cottons,

the crimping of hair; second hand furniture

round the corner; three brass balls if you 

wanted to pawn a thing on two;

the Knackers’ Yard; the Late Night Final;

the Laundry; the Dairy; the Men’s Urinal.

checks of tin from the Co-op Stores;

Mence Smith’s; Dales; and pails

of manure yours for the taking;

barber’s poles; Groom’s and the smell

of baking.

It was always an honourable, vulnerable town ….

that could be the reason for knocking it down!

Tear out its character, flatten its face-

we’ll soon think of something to put in its place.

Never mind what, and never mind where …..

move it around a bit- up in the air!

Let’s have some changes- let’s have some ‘go’-

What were we putting here? Someone must know!

And so it went on, and on, and on …….

until all that we knew of Old Erith had gone

It took them some time to take it apart;

dying by stages, a work of ‘art’ you might say,

in a way –

All that was good was whittled away, and all

that was bad was left to decay

of its own accord.

I could write more but I’ve gone on too long,

progress, we know, has got to go on- but

why did it happen and where did it start?

We’re left with a town without a heart,

not better but worse than we had before!

There’s very few left who remember it now,

the new generation could not really care

about something they never would know or share.

Sadly, sadly, read it through,

the ones who recall it all-

you, and you …….

the ones who grew up with me

when I was small – born here,

and taught here, and worked here-

you know what I’m writing of-

you understand and,

if you’ve a moment or two in hand,

go down by the River …….

yes, it’s still there- and stand

and share with me dog-eared regrets

for the ‘used to be’-

of the rough little, gruff little

Erith we knew, and read to yourself

this Obituary.

…………………………………………

Written by Pat Watson

March, 1982.

Erith has for several years been plagued by youths on illegal, unlicensed motorbikes and scooters; the problem appears to be worst around the Frobisher Road and Manor Road area. The scrotes ride their illegal vehicles along the pavements, very close to pedestrians, and also weave in and out of the traffic on the road. They usually end up heading East, and onto the Slade Green Marshes where they cause a nuisance to walkers and legitimate users of the protected area. Local residents have been complaining about this behaviour, and Erith Watch have been active in working with the Police to get something done about the matter. Last Saturday the Police caught two of the offenders red handed. The Police had a van with a number of officers, and collared the scumbags  outside of the Bilton Road Industrial Estate. The general procedure the Police carry out when arresting illegal, unlicensed and uninsured riders is that their bikes or scooters are confiscated and crushed. One can only hope that this will be the case in this instance. The only thing is the offenders will probably just go out and steal another bike and carry out their anti social and criminal acts as before. I feel that it will take another death before they realise how dangerous their activities are. Back in 2006, when the 469 single decker bus still ran on a route that included Manor Road, a young scooter rider came roaring West along the road; a West bound 469 was stationary at the Frobisher Road bus stop, and an East bound 469 bus was coming the other way; rather than waiting for the Eastbound bus to pass, the young rider raced for the gap; he was crushed between the two buses. The ambulance crew were able to stabilise him for long enough to get him to hospital, and his family to get to his bedside to say goodbye. I can see this terrible state of affairs happening again unless the illegal riders do something drastic about their behaviour.

Earlier in the week I received the following message:- "As undoubtedly one of your farthest-flung readers (long-time resident of Tokyo but born and brought up in DA8), I just wanted to add my support for retaining the Maggot Sandwich name. I stumbled upon your excellent blog five or so years ago due I think to the distinctive name and look forward to reading your blog and catching up on Erith news every Monday morning here in Japan". Thanks to Stephen, and please be assured, as I wrote last week, after the massive positive feedback, the Maggot Sandwich name is definitely here to stay.

As correctly predicted by the Maggot Sandwich last month, the Culture and Communications Minister Ed Vaizey has kicked the whole DAB radio switchover project into the long grass. He was speaking at the “Go Digital” conference last week that had been hailed as the “D-Day” for the phasing out of analogue FM and AM radio in the UK. The conference was organised by several of the largest companies who have an interest in digital radio. Ed Vaizey set no new date for a digital switchover, or a threshold of uptake of DAB. Several stations that have historically broadcast nationwide on DAB have now reduced their coverage to London only – this includes Jazz FM and Absolute Radio’s classic rock and 1960’s stations, which can now only be heard on DAB in and around London. The reason for this is simple. Cost and lack of listeners. A UK wide DAB channel costs £1.2 million a year, and that is before a single programme is broadcast – and not forgetting that DAB reception is patchy at best, with large black spots peppered all over the country. The cost of improving DAB coverage to around 97% of the UK landmass is estimated to be somewhere between £100 million and a billion pounds, of which a vast majority would have to be picked up by the tax payer, although this might well be contested by the European Court, as it is likely to contravene EU laws restricting state subsidies.  Industry insiders say that a 128Kb/sec MP2 data stream (how DAB is transmitted) costs sixteen times more than broadcasting the same content by analogue FM (and the analogue sound quality will be far superior to the 128k DAB audio). The problem for broadcasters is that OFCOM structures its’ licences so that if a radio station does not commit to DAB, they will lose their FM licence. The only European countries that have rolled out DAB broadcasting are the UK and Denmark; the first country to experiment with DAB was Germany, but they switched off their multiplex back in 2008 after only 200,000 DAB receivers were sold in ten years. The problem is that DAB has never been an ideal technological solution, and it has now been soundly overtaken by internet broadcasting via DSL and also 3G / 4G phone, set top satellite and cable boxes and the fact that analogue FM is more than good enough. So where does this leave DAB? It is much more expensive, has worse coverage, sounds inferior, and only gets used by 23% of the radio listening public. DAB has been a solution in need of a problem, and I feel that the government have now sent out a message that they are not going to do anything until after the next general election; if at all.

The ending video is by way of a virtual Christmas card - a bit of holiday fun. A CGI feast for fans of the Chuck Norris legend (for those of you not in the know, there has been a long running Internet story how Chuck Norris is some kind of superhero - you can read some outrageous but very entertaining statements here. Anyway, here is a little bit of Christmas fun for you. Comments below, or Email hugh.neal@gmail.com as always.

Now and then.

A reminder that this years' Christmas Tree Festival kicks off on Friday lunch time at Christ Church. The event is a bit of a local landmark, and definitely marks the start of the festive season. The festival raises money for local charities, including the Greenwich and Bexley Community Hospice. If you are in the local area, do give the event your support. You can see their website by clicking here.

The other piece of local community news this week, is that a new Neighbourhood Watch initiative is being launched. Hound Watch is designed to recruit people out walking their pet dogs. Dog walkers are often out and about at unusual times of the day and night, and may possibly be a witness to suspicious / criminal activity. The project aims to recruit dog walkers and get them to report anything out of the ordinary. Bexley Neighbourhood Watch Association made the following announcement:- "We together with Bexley Police are setting up “Hound Watch”. This is to recruit dog walkers and ask them to report anything suspicious they might see while walking their dog(s). We are inviting all dog owners to join our brand new scheme. Those joining at the launch will receive a membership pack and also a chance to win a painted portrait of your dog and other fantastic prizes. Come along on FRIDAY 13TH DECEMBER to Pets At Home, Tower Retail Park, Crayford Road, Crayford, DA1 4LD between 10am-2pm. For more information contact the Neighbourhood Watch office on 0208 284 5537 or email bexwatch-office@btconnect.com".

When I was photographing the repair work to the bridge across the railway at Bexley Road last week, I took a shot (see above - click for a larger view) which was taken in a very similar position to one which was taken back in the Autumn of 1973, almost exactly forty years ago; I thought that it might be instructive to post both shots for you to see the comparison. 

The most obvious difference in the photos is that back in 1973 the site now occupied by the hideous fish sculpture roundabout was then the location of the Wheatley Hotel - a Railway Hotel. A Railway Hotel was a combination of a pub downstairs, and a bed and breakfast upstairs; almost all railway stations at one stage or other had a railway hotel in close proximity - in this case, Erith Station was just across the road. In the time before the invention of the car, people travelling around the country would often need to break their train journey overnight. A room in a railway hotel was cheaper than a full hotel, as the features tended to be more basic, but they were convenient - they fulfilled the same function as  a modern Premier Inn - cheap and clean, at least in most cases. On top of this, local residents would use the pub located on the ground floor. I understand that the Wheatley Hotel was a pretty lively place on a Friday and Saturday night. One can also see the still working dock cranes in the background; they were located in the Erith Deep Water Wharf - what is now the site of Morrison's supermarket. The cranes were part of the pier, and were used to unload heavy cargo from moored vessels. Historically cargo which came on ships too large to make in to docklands or the Pool of London were unloaded at Erith. One of the regular cargoes landed at the Deep Water Wharf were the huge rolls of newsprint, which arrived from paper mills in Sweden. They were then taken by lorry to the Europa Industrial Estate in Fraser Road, where they were then stored before being taken by road to Fleet Street, where the national newspapers were primarily then still based.  To the left of the photo one can see Bosworth House - one of the high rise flats that had recently been built on the river front. If you click on the black and white image to enlarge it, you can make out the scaffolding still surrounding the then newly built block. Back then it was a council block; nowadays many of the flats in the tower are privately owned, and it is quite a desirable location, with amazing views across the River Thames. 

Talking of the area around the Bexley Road bridge, you may recall that I wrote extensively about the current repairs to the bridge, and the fact that Bexley Council were shortly going to replace the bridge with a new structure, which seemed like a waster of money and resources; well, I have had an Email from John Ferry, the Bexley Council Communications Manager. John writes"I am emailing to give you more information relevant to your recent post about the bridge works at the top of Bexley Road, which I read online yesterday. The plan to widen the road as it passes over the railway lines will involve adding a new bridge alongside the two separate bridges that currently carry the traffic. These two bridges sit next to one another: a brick arch bridge built in 1860 and a reinforced concrete structure added in 1927 when previous widening took place. The urgent refurbishment and strengthening work currently affects the reinforced concrete bridge. This bridge will be retained as part of the planned Queen’s Road Junction Improvement Scheme, so repairing it is both essential and an investment for the future. We are sorry that the works are causing delays and inconvenience to motorists, but it is essential to repair the cracks and weaknesses that have developed over the years. The Council has been proactive in seeking a solution to the problems at and around the roundabout by fighting for funds to improve the junction. We are currently consulting on a scheme and are discussing funding options with our partners. We would welcome your views and those of your readers. I hope this information helps to explain the current position and makes clear that we are doing our best to serve the interests of local residents". Many thanks John - your input has cleared up a lot of concerns. Readers - do feel free to chip in with your thoughts and suggestions. Please leave a comment below.

The News Shopper reported that earlier in the week, the Fire Brigade had to rescue a horse that was trapped in a water filled ditch on Ray Lamb Way.  This is a road that leads onto the Wallhouse Road Industrial Estate, on the Slade Green Marshes. Very few people are familiar with the Marshes – even though they are an area of outstanding natural beauty only fifteen minutes’ walk from Erith town centre. The marshes are home to Erith Yacht club, as I featured a little while ago, and also to a number of industries, including specialist vehicle maintenance shops and a couple of breakers yards. For the most part, the marsh is composed of reed beds and grassland, and is popular with dog walkers (and unfortunately, to a number of unlicenced and illegal off – road motorbikes).  Slade Green Marshes are protected, and cannot be built upon for the most part; they still have a number of wartime pill boxes and gun emplacements as relics of the preparations against invasion – though to be honest, tough as these structures look, they were very isolated and surrounded by open marshland – a German tank or bazooka squad would have made mincemeat of the occupants in short order. A good friend  of mine who is sadly no longer with us used to work as a civilian in Bexleyheath Police Station; he was also a keen mountain biker and fellow radio ham. He used to regularly cycle on and around Ray Lamb Way. One day  he was minding his own business, cycling along when he saw what looked like a pair of wellington boots sticking out from the very ditch that the horse was recently found in. Curiosity piqued, he dismounted his bike to investigate. What he found was what in emergency services slang they call a “deep purple” – a dead body that is not only deceased, but bloated and smelly. He phoned his boss at Bexleyheath nick, and the Police were on the scene in short order. This was all well over ten years ago, and I do recall that the deceased was known to the Police as being involved in the drugs trade; I don’t know if a killer was ever arrested and charged. The marshes still keep a few secrets. They are well worth a visit on a warm day – they are one of the best ways of seeing Erith’s “Big Sky” that I have recently written about.

The News Shopper have been running an opinion piece on a subject that much vexes me. They are asking for readers’ opinions on self service checkouts in supermarkets and other stores. This old chestnut comes up around once per year, and I have made my own views on the subject clear in the past – I am vehemently opposed to self service for a number of reasons; firstly it has been demonstrated that the average time to complete a supermarket self service transaction is up to three times as long as one carried out by a staffed till – and that is without allowing for system errors. Secondly, why would you have a dog and bark yourself? Quite often the checkout person adds to the whole retail experience, and can problem solve on the go. Elderly people, or customers with small children can also find self service stressful. On top of this, the supermarkets only introduce self service as they think it will reduce their staffing overheads. This has proved to be a false economy, as although  the number of checkout staff is reduced, the number of supervisors and security operatives has to increase – who tend to be paid a higher rate than the checkout staff. This particular matter has caused Wilkinson’s to remove them, as they discovered that the self service tills actually cost more by the time all the overhead costs were factored in; they were also finding the incidence of thefts and under age purchasing were on the rise. If you are comfortable using self service checkouts, fine – as always my philosophy is “if it works for you”. Personally I will steer clear of them, as they serve the shop, not the shopper.

I have a question to pose, and I would be grateful if you could help by providing an answer. The Maggot Sandwich has been updated every Sunday afternoon for well over seven years – a total of 460 entries averaging three thousand words per entry (that’s roughly 1,380,000 words, and no, I am not going through it all to get a precise count; in this case near enough is good enough).  The Maggot Sandwich has become a bit of a brand now, but one very loyal reader has suggested to me that the name is holding the blog back – that the rather surreal and silly name does not represent the content. He suggests that the name should be changed to something more representative of what the blog is nowadays. I am not sure – it is the first comment of this nature I have received. Are the readers just being polite and putting up with the title, or do they find it part of the charm? Many may not be aware that the name originates from a radio show I used to have on South East London / North Kent station Radio Lumberjack back in the late 1980’s; when I started the blog, I thought I could re – use the old name for my Saturday night radio show. I do recall back in 2010 when I was a delegate at the London Bloggers conference at the OFCOM headquarters on the South Bank that ”Arthur Pewty’s Maggot Sandwich” was informally voted as the most unusual and memorable blog title of the attendees. What do you think? Do you like the name, or is it due for a change? If you think it is overdue for a revamp what would you like to see it called in future? You can Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

The photo I published last Sunday of William Gilder on a shrimp fishing boat on the River Thames has sparked considerable interest. Gilder ran a successful fishmongers shop on the river front at Erith, directly opposite the wooden jetty that is still there today. The shop was in business for many years between the wars, and was only demolished in 1937. Maggot Sandwich reader and local historian Ken Chamberlain sent me the photo of Gilder’s Fishmongers which you can see above. He tells me that the Gilder family were heavily involved in trade in and around Erith for many years, and indeed several members of the family still live locally. I had commented on how William Gilder looked considerably younger in the photo that Ken had sent, to which he responded that although there was a distinct family resemblance, it was possible that the figure in the doorway was not the same person as pictured in the fishing boat last week. Either way it is a real slice of Erith’s long and varied history. The more I consider the state of pollution of the River Thames before WWII, the more I am amazed not only that a successful fishing business could generate income from the murky waters, but that people were apparently not routinely poisoned. In addition to the aforementioned sewage outfall from Crossness, back before the war Erith Pier was frequented by heavy cargo freighters and ships that were judged as too large to navigate further upriver to the docks, or the Pool of London. The output sewage and waste oil into the river, along with leaving traces of chemicals from their anti fouling paint (which used to contain large amounts of poisonous tin or copper compounds to inhibit weed and barnacle growth on the hulls of ships). It is a wonder that anything managed to live in the Thames off Erith at all. The water nowadays is far cleaner than it has been for years – the reason it looks brown and murky is mainly due to the large levels of silt that is suspended in the water, rather than to high pollution levels.

Some very professional and nasty scammers have been targeting local residents recently; one of my best local informants had encountered an issue reported by a retired chap who had been the unwitting victim of a fraud. I am going to recount the story, but leave out all of the personal details, for obvious reasons. The scam works like this; The victim will get a phone call out of the blue; the person on the other end will say that they are calling from Microsoft (or sometimes from MacAfee or Norton antivirus). They say that the victim’s PC is either infected with a very serious computer virus, or that their software licence has expired and that it needs to be revalidated and registered. They tell the victim that they can do this if they can obtain remote access to the PC in question “to save you the bother of doing it yourself”. Whilst this may sound obvious, and that only a mug would fall for it, the scammers are highly professional and plausible. The victim can hear that the scammer is working in a call centre from the background sounds, and all does appear to be genuine. Once the scammers gain control of the victims’ computer, they often install Cryptolocker ransom ware – software that sits on the PC like a time bomb, until a certain date, or predetermined set of actions are carried out by the victim, upon which it encrypts the victims files and stored data, and then demands a payment – usually of around five hundred Euros for the files to be decrypted – and there is no guarantee that they will be decrypted. On top of this, the scammers will siphon off passwords and user names for online bank accounts and other things like Email accounts – which they then sell on to other criminals for use in identity theft. Victims of this scam also get added to a “white list” by the bad guys; this is a very valuable list of people who are judged to be vulnerable to being conned. This information is also posted online to be purchased by other criminals. Basically if you are hit once, you are likely to be hit again, time after time – a scammer crew called “Windows PC Care” have been operating locally – on top of the malware they infect on your computer, they demand £195 to remove the fictional “infection” that they initially warned the victim about. These scammers are not single people; they form part of organised gangs known as “crews”. If you, or a friend or relative gets a phone call from an organisation purporting to be a huge software or services company, just put the phone down. Don’t bother arguing or remonstrating with them – they are not interested,; they will just move on to the next target – to them it is all about money. The scams are run just like a company – albeit one employing illegal methods.  The chances of catching the perpetrators is vanishingly small; the usually operate out of countries in Eastern Europe and South Asia; they employ hundreds of people in what are called “boiler rooms” – call centres for illegal activities. The large IT companies such as Apple, Microsoft and Google do investigate them, on the grounds that not only do they cause damage to reputation, but they are also compromising  their products. To be honest, the scamming has turned into a major industry. The chances of getting caught and prosecuted are small at most – the scammer bosses often have the local police and government in their pocket. In the unlikely event of a prosecution, the sentences are small – a fine and probation in most cases. Why risk getting murdered by a rival, or spending the rest of your life in a rat infested jail after being caught smuggling drugs, when you can sit in an air conditioned office and make just as much money by ripping off people's computers? So, what can you do to avoid these criminal scumbags? Firstly, and most obviously, as previously mentioned, just put the phone down – the big IT companies do not make personal calls – ever. If you get a call, a pound to a bent penny it is a scammer trying to take you for a ride. As far as your computer is concerned, make sure that whatever operating system you use, that it is up to date with all security patches and that the firewall is switched on. If you want to test the security of your computer to external attacks, I can recommend a website that benignly simulates a hacker port scanning your computer, looking for a vulnerability. The harmless scan takes a minute or so, and will give you an accurate idea as to how well locked down (or otherwise) your computer is. Shields Up! Is a great resource. You can see the results of an in - depth Shields Up! Port scan on the computer network at Pewty Acres in the screen shot below - the network does not exist as far as hackers are concerned. I take my security very seriously. Do run the same check on your systems and see what results you come up with. You may notice that I have intentionally blurred most of my I.P address. I did this using Apple's Aperture image manipulation software. Just in case some clever dick thinks that they can import the image below into Aperture and reverse the blurring function to get the rest of the address, I would not waste your time. The image is actually a screen capture of the original blurred picture - this removes all the image metadata, and make un - blurring impossible. Me - paranoid? No, just very careful.

In years past I would have advised against using Microsoft Windows if you wanted a secure computing experience; I have to say that Microsoft have taken security very seriously indeed over the last few years, and both Windows 7 and Windows 8.1 are now actually pretty damn good. Not for me personally, but as always, if it works for you. So far the remote access scams have been targeted mainly at Windows PC’s, but it is only a matter of time before OS X, iOS and Android also get targeted. Whilst Apple Macs are less common than Windows PC’s, Apple users tend to have higher disposable incomes, and thus make attractive targets. For the ultra paranoid computer user, I would recommend the free and open source OpenBSD version of Unix; it is designed from the ground up for security and robustness against malicious attack. It has lots of software ported onto it, and if you have an old computer sitting round, you can give the operating system a try for free – details by clicking here. OpenBSD is used in many areas where reliability and uptime are paramount – and I can guarantee that a remote scammer would be utterly defeated if they tried to take over an OpenBSD box.

The ending video this week is a new festive short film from Simon's Cat. As always, it is excellent - well observed, cleverly animated and very funny - give it a watch and leave a comment below.