The flies have arrived.

The photo above shows the front of Christ Church Erith, and the newly laid gravel drive in the garden. As many regular readers may know,  the church is currently celebrating the centenary of the completion of the bell tower, which was constructed around forty years after the main church structure. The bell tower is open to the public during a series of open days, the next of which is Sunday the 17th of May between 3pm and 5pm. Visitors can climb up into the bell room and watch the bells being rung; if you find climbing steep and narrow steps a challenge, you can watch the process of bell ringing via a custom CCTV system which has view screens in the tower entrance hall. Entrance to the open day is free, though donations are welcome; hot and cold refreshments, including tea, coffee, soft drinks and home made fairy cakes will be on sale in the church. You can see photos of a recent open day by clicking here. 

Regular Maggot Sandwich readers will be familiar with my vocal support for the national “Scores on the Doors” food hygiene rating system; Erith at one stage had the worst ratings of any town in the united Kingdom, but due partly to work by Bexley Trading Standards Department, and partly by the food outlet owners themselves, the star ratings awarded to food outlets have been steadily improving over the last year, to the point where they are now getting to be pretty impressive. One area currently not covered by the “Scores on the Doors” system are factories where food is produced. It may not be obvious, but Erith, Slade Green and Thamesmead have a number of these. Manor Road Erith boasts a company that manufactures almost all of the Chinese pancakes used to accompany Crispy Aromatic Duck in restaurants around the country, which can also be purchased in Waitrose. Many other examples of factories producing chilled ready meals for sale in supermarkets and other types of food manufacture provide much needed local employment. The News Shopper reported earlier this week that a food factory in Hailey Road, Abbey Wood had been closed by food hygiene inspectors after an appallingly dirty and unregistered food factory was uncovered. The factory, called “Soy” made Asian foods, including Soya Bean Curd. Food safety officers from Bexley Council found the Hailey Road premises in a "filthy" condition with extensive mould growing, grime encrusted equipment, leaking drains, no hand washing facilities, inadequate and dirty protective clothing, and an active rodent infestation when they first visited them. The business was not registered with the council, despite this being a legal requirement, and had no systems in place to ensure foods produced on site were safe to eat. The disgusting place has now been closed down, and the owner fined £14,000 plus costs of £2,000 and a victim surcharge of £120. The problem for the authorities were that this factory was unregistered – an offence in itself. This must have made discovering the offending factory hard to investigate. It would be good if food factories could be included in the “Scores on the Doors” scheme – it would mean a more “joined up” approach to food cleanliness and hygiene. What do you think?

The onset of Spring has meant that on certain days it has been possible to open windows and back doors to enjoy the fresh air. The rear garden lawn at Pewty Acres is looking particularly lush now (possibly at least in part due to the fact it is professionally installed high quality synthetic turf that does not need watering or mowing) and things are looking good. The downside of opening the back door – apart from the very close encounter I had with a fox in my living room last summer – is that I got a number of flies in the house. I cannot abide flies of any description; they are nasty, disease ridden, irritating invaders of my personal space. A few days ago I found half a dozen of the little blighters seemingly practicing touch and go landings on my kitchen work surfaces. I got out the fly spray and gave them a decent blast. I’m not the kind of person to spray a burst in the air as per the usage instructions; I either wait until they have landed and give them both barrels at point blank range, or I use the spray can like a mobile Ack – Ack battery and squirt a stream of flit directly at the airborne insects. This task done, I left the flies to die. About twenty minutes later I went back into the kitchen to find nearly all of the flies blithely continuing their orbit of the room, as if nothing had happened. Frustrated I gave each of them another long blast of fly spray (by now the kitchen smelled like a chemistry lab on a bad day) but the flies just carried on flying. By now I was of the opinion that I would be better off swatting them with the can, as the spray seemed to have little or no effect on them. I went up to my home office and did some research. It turns out that the common house fly normally only lives for two to three weeks in the wild (or considerably less when I have my way). It would seem that the number of generations that are able to be produced each year is considerable, and that compared with the relatively long life span of the average human, flies are able to evolve quickly. It is becoming apparent that domestic flies are developing a resistance, and in some cases an immunity to insect killing fly sprays. I have come to the conclusion that a rolled up newspaper may be a messy, but still effective alternative. I may also invest in an electric bug swatter – a chemical – free high voltage alternative that is also fun to use. If you have any other suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment below, or Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

I have noticed that several of the national energy companies are currently targeting local residents with letters asking them to make an appointment to get their current electricity and gas meters replaced with a smart meter. Personally I have received three such letters from my energy supplier, EDF. As I have mentioned before, Smart Meters send real – time power usage data back to the supplier via a 3G mobile phone signal. This means that the meter does not have to be connected to a home data network. This sounds all well and good; the power company can bill you without having to send a meter reader to your house, and you get the option to monitor your power usage in an almost real – time way. There are however, problems. The data sent from the Smart Meter to the supplier is sent unencrypted, and “in the clear”; it is possible to intercept the data stream, and also a malicious attacker can potentially send instructions to the meter remotely. Several Smart Meter companies do admit this, but they play the whole lack of security aspect down. Secondly if one discounts the security implications, the various energy companies all supply different Smart Meters, many of which are incompatible with each other. If you choose to change your energy supplier, you will need to have your Smart Meter changed again – with the associated additional cost that this implies. Tellingly on the EDF letter there are a series of frequently asked questions. EDF initially state in the letter that “your current meter is old and now needs to be replaced – you need to book an appointment for an engineer to carry out this work”. They then go on to stress how old meters can be inaccurate and possibly unsafe. There is a giveaway in the FAQ’s that follow though – and I quote verbatim:- “Occasionally we may be unable to install a Smart Meter, usually due to communications issues with signal strength. If this happens we will not replace your meter, but will contact you again when we believe the Smart Meter national infrastructure will be able to support a Smart Meter in your premises.” There is the smoking gun – they don't actually need to replace the meter for the accuracy and safety concerns expressed earlier –they purely want to do it to make you have a Smart Meter, with all the security, privacy and expense worries that they entail. I have a preferred technique for dealing with such unwanted attention – I ignore everything they send me until they eventually give up and go away. Smart meters primarily benefit the energy companies, because they no longer need to employ meter readers. The benefits to the consumer are minimal at best, and when allied to the security and compatibility concerns mentioned earlier, they don't add up for me. 

I was sent the photo above by a long - time reader. It shows the 229 and 99 buses parked in what was then, and is still now the bus halt in the old Erith Town Centre, along what appears to be a Ford Escort Mk1 van - almost certainly a bus mechanic's service vehicle. The photo would appear to have been taken in around 1973, and the original frontage of the White Hart can be seen in the background, many years before the criminals that later bought the place and illegally removed the locally listed frontage and installed the current hideous plate glass frontage. Hopefully a facsimile of that original Victorian pub frontage will be restored in the near future. Right now, quite honestly it is an eyesore. If you have any old photos of the local area, please feel free to send them to me - you will receive full credit, unlike the originator of this photo, who chooses to remain anonymous. *Update* Since I posted this, regular reader Steve commented "Re. the bus photo - most definitely taken between January and July 1975. I knows this 'cos the bus on the left (an 'MB' type) was one of those drafted in to supplement the ailing DMS fleet which were being withdrawn a few at a time so that necessary upgrades could be carried out. The red Ford Escort is an inspectors' van". Many thanks for the correction Steve!

You may recall that back in January I reported on the fact that Southeastern Trains had been found to have the lowest level of customer satisfaction of any rail operator in the United Kingdom. Not only that, but the level of train cancellations, short trains, overcrowding and breakdowns were also on the rise. It can therefore not really come as a surprise that Peter Hendy, the Head of Transport for London would express the sentiment that Southeastern do not live up to expectation in language I deem unsuitable to print here. After his foul language, he went on to say, in rather more temperate terms “'On Southeastern  the trains are like the Wild West. They are awful. And then every now and then some people who look like the Gestapo get on and fine everyone they can. It doesn't improve your day, does it? People hate the suburban rail service, they hate it. If you make a mistake on your oyster card on the tube, we’ll refund it. On South East Trains, they’ll fine you. That’s a big philosophical difference." Quite. Shortly after he made the statement, he withdrew it and apologised - I get the feeling that he had been nobbled by persons unknown. Personally I have no issue with the revenue protection officers checking that people have the correct Oyster card or paper ticket for their journey – readers with a long memory may recall that in the past I have been told by the revenue inspectors at Plumstead Station that in the early to mid-afternoons, up to a third of the passengers using the North Kent line did not have any form of valid ticket – something that law abiding passengers end up paying for indirectly. I do agree that the Southeastern services in general leave very much to be desired. As a regular commuter into London from Erith, you do become used to the problems the Southeastern Trains – the sudden, unexplained cancellations, the short trains, the filthy condition they are in when they eventually turn up, and the general “couldn't care less” attitude of a significant proportion of their staff.  Having said that, the person that normally runs the ticket office at Erith Station is a pleasant chap who seems to know his job well, so there are exceptions. The problem with Southeastern is that for many commuters there is no alternative service – you are stuck with the underperforming company with no other options. Unlike most of the rest of Greater London, the South East Thames corridor area does not have DLR coverage past Woolwich Arsenal,  or tube coverage of any kind, and the buses into central London involve at least one change, and an impractically long journey time. It will not be until 2018 when Crossrail comes to Abbey Wood that a viable alternative form of public transport will become easily available to locals needing to commute into London. I think that by this time Southeastern Trains will have probably been purchased and subsumed into another of the giant rail operators – they cannot limp on as they are forever. I for one will not be sad to see the back of them.

Long term Maggot Sandwich readers will know that I have been banging on ad nauseum about supermarket self – service checkouts for years. To be brief, I utterly despise the things, and it would appear that I am not alone in this respect. On Wednesday, Morrison’s supermarket announced the following on from extensive public consultation, they were scrapping all their self-service tills and instead installing “Ten Items or Less” checkouts. I applaud the sentiment, but not the appalling mangling of the grammar – it should be “Ten Items or Fewer”. From my understanding, when Morrison’s surveyed their customers, 96% of them said that they preferred dealing  with a real person, whilst 66% said that they were worried about holding up people in the queue whilst they waited for a member of staff to override machines spouting warnings, or being unable to scan a product. This development comes only a month or so since Morrison’s dumped their much derided computerised queue management system that told staff when to open extra checkout lanes – which instead left long queues and lots of unstaffed checkouts, causing delays and stress to customers. Instead they are allowing staff to determine when extra checkouts need to be opened or closed, which is a far more sensible option. The problems with self – service checkouts are well – known; the level of shoplifting escalates when they are in use, as does the level of checkout fraud. I have always felt that goods purchased via a self-service till out to be a few pence cheaper than those purchased via a traditionally staffed checkout – after all, you are doing the supermarket’s work for them – and “why have a dog and bark yourself”. I think that Morrison’s are trying to re – position themselves in the supermarket hierarchy. Certainly the Erith store has suffered since the Asda store opened in Lower Belvedere; Morrison’s staff tell me that they have lost something in the region of thirty percent of the customers that they had before the local competition opened for business. It would seem that not just locally, but across the UK, Morrison’s are feeling the pinch, and are trying to create ways in which their stores differ from the opposition. How successful it will be will take time to ascertain, but I for one think they are heading in the right direction. The restoration of tills staffed by real people offering personal service has to be a good thing. What do you think? Leave a comment below, or Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

Here is an unusual view of Erith, looking over to Lower Belvedere. Just for a bit of fun, can you work out where the photo was taken from? It is a somewhat unconventional view. Answers on a postcard (or better still, either leave a comment below, or Email hugh.neal@gmail.com if you know the answer).

This week I have a guest writer who you may recall from the "Selfie" image that was at the start of the last Maggot Sandwich update. Ian "The rEV" Doherty - local musician, activist and history fan has written a piece on Lesnes Abbey Ruins. See what you think. "Did you know that as of mid September 2014 work started on the Lesnes Abbey Woods Enhancement Project? As a local who grew up playing in the woods and ruins doing stuff like riding bikes with mates, making camps and generally mucking about from sunrise to sunset, I knew nothing about it as I sadly don't get down there as much as I’d like now I'm a 40+ year old family man (and would soon be locked away running about with a stick shouting “ACK!-ACK!-ACK!-BRRRRRRR!” whilst pretending to shoot imaginary bad guys and diving behind the Abbey walls) but one bright sunny Spring day last week myself, my wife and our two kids took a walk from our house to the woods as my wife has a yearly almost supernatural urge to see Bluebells so off we strolled and that’s how I came across the changes happening at the almost 900 year old site. For those not in the know, first a bit of history. After the Norman Conquest of 1066, the area of Lesnes (Lesness seems to be modern a corruption of the original spelling) passed into the possession of Bishop Odo and is mentioned in the Domesday Survey. The year 1178 saw the foundation of the Abbey of St Mary and St Thomas the Martyr or Lesnes Abbey, as it became to be known was founded by Richard de Luci, Chief Justiciar of England, in 1178. It is speculated this may have been in penance for the murder of Thomas Becket in which he was involved. The ancient but long-managed Lesnes Abbey Woods are named after the Abbey and the area below the site would have been nothing but marshland. The Abbot of Lesnes Abbey was an important local landlord and took a leading part in arranging and maintaining drainage of the marshland. However, this and the cost of maintaining river embankments was one of the reasons given for the Abbey's apparent chronic financial difficulties. It never became a large community and was closed by Cardinal Wolsey in 1525, under a licence to suppress monasteries of less than seven inmates. It was one of the first monasteries to be closed after the Dissolution of the Monasteries in 1524 and the monastic buildings were all pulled down except for the Abbot's Lodging. Some of the stone is said to have been used in the construction of Hall Place. The abbey was effectively lost for 350 years and the area became farmland with the abbots house forming part of a farmhouse. Just over 100 years ago the site was excavated by Woolwich & District Antiquarian Society and the former London County Council purchased the site of the ruins in 1930 and it was finally open to the public as a park in 1931. Since 1986, the site has been the property of the London Borough of Bexley. Which lets be honest have done practically nothing with it ever since! Its always cried out for a tea hut or SOMETHING, well as of this year a £4.2m project part funded by Bexley Council and the Heritage Lottery Fund (which is investing £3.5m) has started and because the area is a site of specific interest an independent ecologist reviewed all the main proposals and their recommendations have apparently helped shape the programme of work by minimizing potential environmental or wildlife impacts. At 88 hectares the site is London Borough of Bexley’s second largest park. It is made up of open parkland and a semi-ancient woodland of 65 hectares. To compare, a football pitch is about 1 hectare long. According to the official blurb the project is primarily to make the park more accessible whilst highlighting its rich natural and human history. So there’s going to be new Information boards, Directional and distance signs, Trails and walks signage as well as bigger building works, the largest of these will be new park building called ‘Lesnes Lodge’ that the Council state “will be a community hub for park-based learning and volunteering activities for schools and community groups, as well as providing enhanced facilities for visitors. The new Lodge will provide upgraded public conveniences and will have a provision for serving refreshments onto a beautiful landscaped terrace. It will also provide a base for 2 new full-time Park Staff who will work with Local People to deliver a quality 21st century Park.” Eight new feature entrances will also be installed around the boundary of the park - each one telling its own part of the lengthy timeline of Lesnes. For the recreation ground the younger children’s play area will be retained and remain dog free other new facilities will include an Outdoor gym, a Parkour zone, a “Pump track” (nope, no idea what that is!) a Picnic area, an Outdoor table tennis table and a Trim trail. At the heart of the park will be an “outdoor learning space”, the Lesnes Abbey Woods Enhancement Project is a project linking various strategies, one of which is to establish a number of outdoor classrooms. Not classrooms, as you would find in traditional settings such as in a school but “inventive, creative spaces for exploration and learning about the human and natural history of the park”. The heathland classroom is an informal area for groups to visit, sit and learn about the natural history of this rare urban heathland and the wildlife that depends on it. There will be six outdoor classrooms:  the heathland, a new Dipping platform (at Abbey Ponds next to Abbey Road. The platform and its new footpath will enable visitors and especially school groups to engage with local wildlife and learn about the historic use of the ponds by the Monks of Lesnes Abbey), another space at the Lesnes Lodge courtyard, one at the Fossil bed (which contains many types of fossils from the Eocene epoch of about 54.5 million years ago. The main evidence found today is sharks’ teeth and seashells. This scheme will bring an improved footpath to the fossil bed along with signage to the feature and “interpretive information”. As well a small dinosaur models) , another classroom at the new Skyline view-point (which according to the website its “London’s history framed in one spectacular view in a naturally elevated position with views to the horizon, Abbey ruins and London skyline, the viewing-point will include a raised platform where visitors can sit, relax and enjoy the moving panorama. The viewing-point will feature information and signage about the landscape beyond and the interpretive abbey windows will help frame the views across Thamesmead, Woolwich, Dagenham and all the way to South East and Central London”) and finally a Monk’s garden (a contemporary design of a medieval garden, Monastery gardens were cultivated for multiple purposes; a method of providing food, herbs, fruit and vegetables for reflection, as well as for medicinal and cultural uses. A monk’s garden enriched the lives of those who lived, worked and visited at the Abbey. The Lesnes Monk’s garden will be set out as a series of three distinct spaces: The Sensory Garden - Scents that fill the air and can be smelt without touching these plants. The Contemplative Garden - The typical abbey cloister or contemplative space was very important in monastic life. The garden symbolised a sacred space of personal growth and spiritual tradition. The Productive Garden - In most monasteries, garden work is revered as sacred. This in-turn enabled the Abbey to be nearly self-sufficient in many food and medicines). Sitting adjacent to the Abbey ruin is the striking mulberry tree which is reputed to have been commissioned to be planted by King James I. The King wanted to set up his own English silk industry. However, silk moth caterpillars feed on white mulberries - the trees the King was sold, were black and so the project failed. Never the less, this story is going to be interpreted in the new knee high fence which will encircle the Lesnes Mulberry and roots and will enable it to live on for visitors to enjoy". Wow! What an epic piece of writing - many thanks Ian. Please feel free to comment below, or Email hugh.neal@gmail.com. If you would like to be a guest Maggot Sandwich contributor, please get in contact with me.

The end video this week features some of the very oldest moving picture footage of London, alongside some modern video taken from the same locations now. It is a fascinating insight into how the capital has changed over the last century or so, and how in many ways it has stayed the same. 

An invasion of foxes.

The photo above might initially not look very interesting, but it has provided a somewhat contentious site for one of Erith’s most disruptive sets of roadworks within recent memory. You may recall that back in June I wrote about the huge and extensive road works which were carried out in Manor Road, Erith. The road was closed for ten weeks whilst it was completely re- engineered, as it had been in a state of near collapse for several years. Manor Road is nearly a mile long, and the section between the KFC drive through and Appold Street was the first to be dug up. Bexley Council Highways Department had devised a diversion via Slade Green, which had been locally published a week or so prior to the start of the closure period. Some devious drivers who know the area very well realised that there was an illegal cut through which would avoid having to use the diversion. Instead they drove along James Watt Way (the road that runs around the outside of Morrison’s car park) and then up Appold Street and past the road works. For many years the junction of James Watt Way and Appold Street has been a no – through – road, with a number of bollards blocking the way. The reason for this is that Appold Street is a quiet residential road, mainly populated by small Victorian cottages whose front doors open directly onto the pavement; any increase over normal local traffic would be disproportionately detrimental to the lives of local residents. The problem always was that the bollards were too few in number, and too widely spaced, meaning that smaller cars and vans could squeeze through the gaps, and for many years one could see vehicles illegally cutting through in this manner. Once the road works began, the increase in traffic via this route was phenomenal, to the point where there was a queue in each direction to get through the gaps in the bollards. Vehicles were revving their engines and hooting their horns in frustration, and I witnessed a couple of incidents of road rage. All this badly affected the residents of Appold Street. After a couple of days things went further downhill. The road contractors removed a couple of bollards and allowed the illegal traffic to move more freely – though it still was only one vehicle per time through the resultant gap. The drivers understood this barrier removal to mean tacit approval for the unplanned diversion work – around, and thus the traffic levels increased still further, making life for people living in Appold Street a nightmare. There were two reported incidents of toddlers being hit by cars on the cut – through, though fortunately in both cases there was no serious injury. I was one of many people to complain to both the Police and the Council about the situation, and I had an Email from the borough Chief Engineer, who had witnessed a number of incidents during a site visit. The results can be seen above – click on the photo for a larger view. Soon after the road works were completed,  began on improvement works in Appold Street. The cut through has now been completely sealed to all vehicles except motorcycles, push bikes, prams and buggies, which is as it was always intended, and the resulting disturbance to those living in Appold Street has been reduced to a minimum. It does go to show that complaining can have a positive result.

Recently, Malcolm Knight of the “Bexley is Bonkers” blog wrote an account of a visit he had made to a Bexley Council meeting where the various Council budgets and incomes / outgoings were debated. The council use auditors Grant Thornton to advise them on matters pertaining to finance. In the course of my day job I have had the odd occasion to deal with Grant Thornton staff, and in my experience they are very sharp cookies and very good at what they do. They have advised the Council that at present only 66% of residents pay their council tax by direct debit. Many of those who are listed as paying by other methods effectively do not. This leaves a very big hole in the Council finances which ends up being recouped by cuts to services, or an increase in the council tax; as we know, Bexley Council are philosophically opposed to increases in the council tax - as they know that this is a vote loser, and they don’t want to lose their cushy and excessively well paid jobs. The result has been the permanent cancellation of the Bexley Festival, the loss of “Bexley in Bloom” and a host of other projects and services. The reason Grant Thornton came up with the figure is that compared with other similar boroughs such as Bromley, Bexley has a very high transient population, and a very high percentage of privately rented housing. People move into the area, privately rent, don’t register with the council, pay no tax, and by the time anything is done to try and get them to pay, they have moved on elsewhere - quite often another address still in the borough, and the cycle continues again. The people who do this are often part of the black economy - they pay no income tax or national insurance, and effectively live as close as possible to “off the radar”. Personally I don’t think there is a huge amount the Council can do to address the problem at a local level; this is the kind of issue that has to be dealt with as a national issue, as it is happening all over the country. The only way to deal with the black economy is to recoup the missing money via taxes that they cannot avoid - by using an increase in taxes on products and services to compensate. In so doing you could remove a whole level of council and national insurance taxation and remove a level of bureaucracy from local government, thus saving in administration costs. What do you think? Leave a comment below, or Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

Long term Maggot Sandwich readers will know that I am a particular fan of the Google Chromebook range of computers. They are cheap, lightweight and surprisingly fast laptops which run a cut down version of Linux called Chrome OS and the Chrome web browser. They are not a full replacement for a machine running OS X, Windows or Linux, but a cut down laptop that just runs the Chrome web browser. You can watch YouTube videos, send and receive web based Email such as Gmail, use FaceBook, Instagram or any other web based service. You can also use Google Docs or other third party web based productivity tools. If you are happy with your data being stored in the cloud, a Chromebook may be ideal for you. They are certainly fast; my Chromebook boots from cold to the logon screen in eight seconds flat. They are also good, if like me you don’t get on with tablet computers – I have a Samsung tablet that belongs to work; I certainly would not buy one, or an iPad personally. I need a decent keyboard, and Chromebooks have excellent ones. Until recently the big drawback with Chromebooks has been that certain heavy duty applications such as Microsoft Office and Photoshop don’t work on them, as you are unable to locally install applications. This is starting to change; not only have Microsoft launched Office 365 – a web based version of MS Office, which can run in a web browser, and now software giant Adobe have announced a version of Photoshop which is designed specifically to run on Chromebook computers.  On Monday,  Google and adobe jointly unveiled "Project Photoshop Streaming," an effort to get Adobe's flagship photo editing software running inside browser windows via application streaming. "This streaming version of Photoshop is designed to run straight from the cloud to your Chromebook," Google's Steven Konig said in a blog post. "It's always up-to-date and fully integrated with Google Drive, so there's no need to download and re-upload files – just save your art directly from Photoshop to the cloud." What's more, Konig said, streaming makes managing applications like Photoshop easier for IT  system administrators, because there's no client software to install or maintain on individual users' machines. The bad news is that this project is initially confined to North America, and further confined to educational users. I have the feeling that once the word gets out, the demand will be so great that Google and Adobe will have to release to a world – wide audience. This good news comes shortly after Google announced a project to get popular Android applications to run on Chromebooks via a virtual machine with no perceptible loss of performance. Google are heading for a major head to head with Microsoft for the future of the desktop, and the outcome will be fascinating. Whichever way it goes, it will be good news for the consumer. I have written in the past that in my opinion the days of having heavy duty PC’s with huge processors and expensive memory are likely to become a rarity. Most users will do what they are already doing – using a web browser to access an application that sits in the cloud, on high powered servers that do all of the “heavy lifting” enabling smaller, lighter and far less power hungry mobile devices to carry out the user interface; it would seem that this is the way things will head in the future.

Recently I have been watching a lot of episodes of “Old Top Gear” on YouTube. Some of you may recall the original, long running TV series, prior to its incarnation as the Clarkson / May / Hammond jokey blokey show that it has been on air in the current format since 2002. Many people don’t realise that the show had been produced in a more conventional format on BBC2 since 1979. I recalled watching the old version of the programme, and my memories were of a somewhat staid and boring presentation style. When I watched a dozen or so clips on YouTube, I found that the programme was excellent and very entertaining. It certainly had humour - see what I mean by watching the clip above. It just shows how memory can play tricks over time.

Now for something a bit more sombre. I have discovered the owners of graves in Erith Cemetery in Brook Street are being contacted by Bexley Council’s cemetery officer (I did not know that we had one) to inform them that the next phase of work to create a new Memorial Terrace has begun. A new mausoleum and double burial chambers have been installed. The letter states “Using a new specially designed and manufactured burial system it was possible to create burial spaces on the new side embankment, an area of the cemetery that was previously seen as being unsuitable for traditional earthen graves. This bespoke system has made it possible to form the first of a series of terraces containing a selection of fully memorialised burial chambers, raised sarcophagi and a mausoleum for below and above ground internment”. The photos above (click for a larger view) show what the development is going to look like when it is finished. The Council do not state what prices they will be charging to interr your loved ones in the new chambers, but you can bet your bottom dollar that it is going to be very pricey – even a simple burial runs into thousands of pounds, and something far more ostentatious like this is going to be much more expensive.

Until a year or so ago, I was entirely unaware that Erith was home to a multi – award winning singer and songwriter. It was only when the Bexley Times ran an article on a chap from Riverdale Road called Wayne Jacobs that I found out. Wayne has had three awards for songs he has written. One would think that he would be better known because of this, but outside of a relatively small sphere, he’s unknown still. The reason for this is not very difficult to understand. Music, like many things is a question of taste, and Wayne Jacobs writes and plays Country and Western music. Not something that is likely to find mass market appeal in South East London; there are a substantial number of people who like this somewhat unusual style of music in the area, but they are in a minority. I am quite surprised that Wayne Jacobs has not emigrated to somewhere like Nashville where his talents would be better put to use. Country and Western is a style of music that to my mind does not travel well. It is so intrinsically linked with certain parts of the USA that to my mind it has little relevance outside of it. It is good to hear of a local artist doing well; I just feel if he wants to hit the big time, he’s going to have to emigrate. What do you think? Am I being unduly harsh? Leave a comment below, or Email me directly at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

The burglar who recently hid up a tree near Charlton Station, stopping all trains on the Dartford to London via Greenwich line for seventeen hours has been sentenced to eighteen months in prison. The London Evening Standard reported earlier in the week that Carlton Andre (36) of no fixed abode, caused the rail lines to be shut and 780 trains to be cancelled, costing nearly £500,000 in lost revenue and passenger compensation. Andre, clad in motorcycle gear and a balaclava, had used an angle grinder to cut open the shutters of a Curry’s store at Stone Lake Retail Park in Charlton, causing £1,500 worth of damage. When police were called he panicked and tried to escape empty-handed on a stolen motorbike. When the bike failed to start he fled on foot from police who tried to Taser him, before he hid in a garden shed. When Andre was located by a police helicopter he once again fled across live railway tracks before climbing a tree near Charlton railway station. The feckless scrote spent the night of the 16^th, and most of the 17^th August up a tree overlooking the railway lines; he was surrounded by Police and unable to escape, but for seventeen hours he refused to come down, and all trains had to be cancelled as a safety precaution, and the traction power had to be switched off. Fortunately the case made it to court relatively swiftly. Carlton  Andre pleaded guilty to burglary, driving a car without the owner’s consent, and driving while disqualified at an earlier hearing. He also pleaded guilty to  obstructing police, criminal damage and obstructing the railway following an attempted burglary at a commercial unit. Personally I think he should have gone down for longer, but nevertheless it does send out a strong message that if you compound your crimes by resisting arrest, then it will be reflected in the eventual sentence.

The garden at Pewty Acres has had a major makeover this week; the lawn has been looking very sad and bedraggled for the last couple of years. It seemed to be more moss and clover than actual grass, and my efforts to restore it to health were unsuccessful. I seemed to spend more time trying to keep the lawn looking half respectable than I did enjoying it. As you may know, my “day job” involves applying technological solutions to all sorts of unusual business problems. I decided that I needed to take some of my own advice, and so I looked into how I could go about rectifying my ailing and somewhat unsightly grass. After some research I decided to go for broke and replace the lawn with a professionally installed synthetic replacement. You can see the results above - click on the picture for a larger view. Synthetic grass technology has come light years since the days of lurid bright green Astroturf, and the stuff they used to use in butcher’s shops meat displays. Modern synthetic turf is visually indistinguishable from the real thing; the individual blades of grass are made of subtly different colours and thicknesses, just as in real life. The supplier / installer I used guarantee their synthetic lawns for ten years against fading and staining. You can put heavy garden furniture and pots on the grass without causing any damage – about the only thing they do not recommend is using a wood or charcoal barbecue on synthetic grass, as dropped hot coals will melt and burn the surface. The installation of a full – sized lawn can take a couple of days. The installers begin by using a specialised turf cutting machine to remove the top layer of soil and old grass down to a depth of a couple of inches. Once this is done, A water permeable membrane is laid and secured to a wooden frame which is secured around the edge of the lawn area. Once this is completed, a layer of crushed granite chippings is laid and levelled with a Wacker plate. Then sharp sand is laid over the top, and rolled smooth with a large lawn roller. A second water permeable membrane layer is then laid on top and also secured to the wooden battens. Once this has been completed, the actual grass is then laid. Watching the work being carried out, it does strike me that the procedure is halfway between laying block paving and laying a carpet. I will report over time how I get on with the synthetic lawn. It is certainly not a cheap option, but I look at it as an investment. I have a handful of dead strimmers in my shed, along with an electric lawn mower that has seen better days. Over the minimum guaranteed ten year lifespan of the synthetic lawn, how much will I save in not having to purchase lawn care tools?

I must admit that I have been somewhat sceptical when I have read accounts in the press of people encountering foxes in their houses, and the odd tale of foxes attacking small children and pets. My view was changed somewhat on Tuesday evening. I was sitting in my living room, watching old “Top Gear” excerpts on YouTube on my Google Chromebook (research for the piece I wrote above) and generally minding my own business. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye; when I looked up there was an adult fox standing in the middle of my living room! I was astonished – I did not think that a fox would be daring enough to enter anywhere that had a strong scent of human. I stood up and shouted at it – which it completely ignored. It was only when I moved toward it that it ran out of the living room and into the kitchen, where it picked up one of the pair of work boots I leave by the back door for wearing in the garden. It then ambled out into the garden and across my newly laid synthetic lawn. It was only when I ran at it waving my arms at shouting that it dropped the boot and ran off into some undergrowth near the bottom of my garden. Only a few hours earlier a fox (possibly the same one) stole a trainer from one of the lawn fitting team; he'd taken them off to change into builder’s boots whilst he prepared the granite chippings that formed part of the lawn base. He told me that he and his colleague watched as a fox came out of a bush, watched them for a minute or so, before snatching the trainer and ambling off as if nothing had happened. I know that an extended family of foxes are living on a small patch of waste ground near to Pewty Acres. The area has been home to foxes for many years, and up until recently humans and foxes have coexisted peacefully. What now seems to have changed is that the foxes have lost all fear of humans and are now encroaching where they are certainly not welcome. One of my neighbours has a small child, and I understand that they too have had foxes trespassing inside their house. Another neighbour told me that she too had several fox visits, even though she has a dog. I am afraid that repellents don't seem to be effective, and I am contacting a licensed pest exterminator to deal with the problems. I am fully aware that if you remove a family of foxes from an area, another family is likely to move in. The problem is not with foxes in general, but with this particular family, who have no fear of humans. My hope would be that any replacement fox family would be wary of people and leave us alone. Have you had any experiences of this nature? What did you do? Drop me a line to hugh.neal@gmail.com and let me know.

The ending video this week is a short documentary about the history of Erith which was made by some pupils at Trinity School back in 2011. It is a very well produced look at the riverside town and the way in which it has changed over the years. Indeed, since the film was produced Warmlake Sports, the independent sport shop in the Erith Riverside Shopping Centre has closed, but other than that not much has changed. Do give it a watch and see what you think.