Erith Pier for sale?

The popular press have been banging on for weeks regarding the heatwave we have either been enjoying, or suffering with, depending on your point of view. Personally I am glad we now have cooler conditions, as I am sure do many others. One local area that has benefitted from the warm weather and clear skies has been Erith Pier, which has seen a marked increase in visitors. This is great, as the pier has historically been somewhat under used, and really only known to Erith residents and others living nearby; it now seems to be getting some wider recognition, which can only be welcomed. I have heard rumours from a couple of sources that there may soon be some changes taking place on and around the pier. Firstly, I have heard that Morrison's supermarket (which owns Erith Pier) are looking to sell it off - and that a meeting has recently taken place between representatives of Bexley Council and Morrison's senior management at Morrison's headquarters in Bradford regarding the potential sale of the pier to a currently unknown third party. I am also led to understand that the Port of London Authority will have a say in any change of ownership, as the pier is regarded as a key asset to the River Thames, and in addition to its leisure uses, it is still employed to moor commercial river traffic on occasion. On top of this, discussions regarding the potential extension of the Thames Clipper river bus service are still ongoing after successful test voyages last Autumn. Bexley Council announced last September that:- "We would welcome a clipper type service if it offers another option for people travelling to and from the City and central London. We don’t own the pier and, while we understand it does not currently have the facilities to allow vessels to dock, we would hope they can be provided if the service is extended along the Thames. We support greater use of the river, particularly for leisure and tourism.” Sean Collins, CEO and co-founder, MBNA Thames Clippers said in a News Shopper interview that:- “Our Gravesend trial service was a complete success. Bookings completely sold out, and we have had incredibly positive feedback from passengers, many asking us when it will become a permanent extension to our current network. The purpose of the trial sailings was to provide us with the required information to enable us to evaluate the potential of such services for the future. The infrastructure and vessels required to operate such service would need to be built, as well as evaluating other potential stops for the route to support the routes viability". There are considerable barriers to setting up a MBNA ferry terminal on Erith Pier; the problems can be divided into two specific types. Firstly there are the engineering and physical challenges to enabling a ferry to dock at the pier. A free floating pontoon extension to the existing pier structure would be needed; this would project out into the deep water channel closer to the middle of the river. This would, however create problems of its own. Whilst the floating pontoon would enable ferries to dock at the the pier whatever the state of the tide was, it would also create a hazard to other shipping that uses the river. Commercial vessels, including cargo ships and bulk freighters use the deep water channel, and if a jetty was protruding into the channel, this might create a hazard to navigation, especially at night and at times of reduced visibility. There are several ways to manage this, the most obvious one being to make the floating jetty movable - to swing it out into the deep water channel only when a ferry was approaching the pier. Unfortunately this would add complexity, and therefore cost to the design, and for safety reasons would almost certainly require a supervising operator to be located on site. The jetty, whether movable or fixed, would require hazard warning lights, a fog horn, and a radar reflector. The pier itself would also require some shelters for waiting commuters to occupy in inclement weather - the wind coming off the Thames at Erith in winter can be absolutely bitter, not to mention the freezing rain. Who would foot the bill for all of the alterations and upgrades is uncertain - at this point the results of the discussions between Bexley Council and Morrison's supermarket have not been released, so at present it is only open to conjecture. This discussion really represents the second challenge to the expansion of the functionality of Erith Pier - what will there is at both council and supermarket level to make substantial changes to how the pier is operated. In the past there has been incredible resistance to change. I know from personal experience that dealing with these organisations, when any mention of Erith Pier is made, it tends to provoke the response of "The answer is no, now what is the question?" Long term readers may recall that I had a small involvement some years ago with an abortive project to bring the Ross Revenge - the Radio Caroline ship to Erith Pier to open it as a public attraction for the Summer season. The objections and bureaucratic barriers that were put up to block the temporary project were simply staggering, and even the involvement of Teresa Pearce, MP for Erith and Thamesmead was not enough to get the project the green light, and it ended up being abandoned. On a more positive note, I am also aware that a number of cultural and social events are being planned around Erith Pier for the Autumn, following on from the hugely successful Erith Lighthouse pop - up restaurant project from last year. More on these undertakings in the weeks to come.

One somewhat surprising issue which has been brought to my attention this week by an eagle eyed reader is that Bexley Council are advertising that they have trees for sponsorship. Really. Their announcement reads:- "The London Borough of Bexley now provides the opportunity for individuals, families, community groups and businesses to sponsor the planting of new tree parks and some highway locations within the borough. Planting a tree can leave a long-term legacy, and trees not only look beautiful and support wildlife but help clean the air, reduce extreme temperatures and reduce stormwater runoff. If you have either a location in mind or a particular tree species you would like planted we can work with you to see how we can best meet your aspirations". The levels of sponsorship range from £250 per tree to £400 per tree - and no name plates, dedication notes or burial of cremation ashes beneath the sponsored tree are permitted. You can see the full terms and conditions by clicking here. Personally I find this somewhat ironic - after all, Bexley Council has been spending money paying contractors to cut down trees all around the borough for the last few months - and now it is expecting local residents to pick up the bill to replace them? Bearing in mind the council have already got our council tax money - which amongst many other things is supposed to cover tree planting and maintaining the natural environment - in essence they are asking the public to pay twice for something. Bare faced cheek in my opinion. What do you think? Leave a comment below, or Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com. 

Erith is somewhat unusual in that it is a town that still has an old – style “cottage hospital”. Nowadays the hospital is mainly used for blood tests and X-rays, and an excellent urgent care centre which has a very good reputation. Back in the 1980’s there was a small surgical unit in the hospital where routine type procedures were carried out. There were two wards accommodating a maximum of thirty one in – patients in 1986. Nowadays the most common reason to visit the hospital is to have an X-ray, blood test, or receive treatment for a minor injury. The X-ray department is located in a rather unusual out building. You can see a photo of the building above – click for a larger view. The bunker was built in 1938 by the then Erith Borough Council as part of the Emergency Medical Service introduced by the Ministry of Health to deal with the anticipated large-scale casualties from enemy bombing during the Second World War. The provision was mainly hut based accommodation, and although another five of these concrete structures were planned on the site, no others are known to survive. The only other underground hospitals known are the one at Dover Castle built by the military as a Field Dressing Station as part of a combined HQ accommodation and the underground hospital at Jersey built by the Germans with forced labour for their defence from the allies. Neither of these examples are comparable with this structure at Erith. The bunker was converted from an emergency field hospital into an X-ray department in 1950. The bunker structure was granted Grade II listed status in 2003, due to its history and uniqueness. It certainly still has a war – time atmosphere; on the one occasion I had to visit the bunker, I half expected a brace of Hawker Hurricanes to fly overhead! Recently, reports have emerged that Erith Hospital is in serious need of a review, following the ambitious growth plans published by Bexley Council. Last week, Director of adult social care Stuart Rowbotham gave Bexley councillors an update on local health services, highlighting the importance of Erith Hospital. He said in an interview published in the News Shopper that:- “The services currently provided there are both very valued by residents, but badly in need of review. We have radiology from a WW2 bunker – the hardware is in bad need of replacing. It’s hard to recruit and retain radiologists, and if that goes you can’t run an urgent care centre there. There’s a domino effect there – the urgent care service there is hugely popular but used for the wrong things. It can’t continue from what is an inappropriate clinical site. That hospital, at some point in the future, will need to be reconfigured. We will need to work with the CCG as it distributes primary care and general practice We, like many others, operate in a highly challenged hospital system. A particular concern is Greenwich and Lewisham trust, and of course Kings which has an infamous overspend situation. This winter just gone was one of the most difficult on record, we had significant breaches of A and E waiting times of almost all hospitals. It was a harsh winter in terms of the weather. Planning starts now for Winter 2018/19. These pressures flow through into social care and that brings a cost pressure – but we need these hospitals to work best because they serve our residents.” What do you think? Leave a comment below, or alternatively Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com. 

Have you ever put some key search words into a search engine such as Google or Bing, and got back some really unexpected results? For example, searching for “bicycle safety” and getting results from payday loan websites. If you have, this is down to a criminal activity called search engine poisoning. Search engine poisoning attacks are designed to skew results so that dodgy sites - anything from malware infected websites to payday loan sites - appear prominently in the index of sites related to popular search terms. In many cases the tactic is so successful that malware sites appear in the first page of results for popular search terms, in sometimes much higher than legitimate websites. More recently, miscreants have begun trying to manipulate image search results. The murky world of high interest payday loan sharks is to blame in many cases. The lenders always require details of potential new customers – what they refer to as “leads” and they are prepared to pay substantial amounts of money to grab as many leads as they can. One way that they do this is by hiring “lead generators” – dodgy, semi legal outfits that have been involved in hacking innocent, completely unconnected websites to redirect to payday loan websites and similar. The other side of this, is if you were actually searching for, as previously mentioned, a bicycle safety site, your search would result in your enquiry being redirected to a dodgy loan website – and your details potentially being siphoned off your web browser for the lead generating company to sell on to the highest bidder. All search engines suffer poisoning to some degree or other; web analytics from security company Sophos indicate that currently Microsoft’s Bing is the worst affected – which is surprising as it is relatively small in comparison to the elephant in the corner – Google. It would appear that whilst Google does suffer from search poisoning, their security is tighter, and less gets through. You have been warned. 

With the current spate of hot weather, thankfully which appears to have abated for the time being, the authorities have been very keen to ensure the everyone carries a bottle of water when out and about; I understand the thoughts behind this - dehydration can become a serious matter when temperatures exceed thirty degrees Celsius. One aspect that seems to have been overlooked, however is that of what I term as "wee mileage". Wee mileage is a concept I developed back in November 2009; I expounded it at the time, but perhaps it deserves a revisit. It encompasses irregular and unreliable public transport, the woeful lack of public toilets in this country nowadays, and the propensity which many have for going out for a quiet pint on the odd occasion. The aforementioned factors create an artificial boundary as to how far one can travel from home, if intending to indulge in a tipple whilst out and about. Once you have left the hostelry or beer festival at the end of the evening, there is a finite amount of time available for travelling before one will be compelled to pump ones' bilges. Obviously this will vary between individuals and their personal bladder capacity / ability to hold on, the amount of liquid they have imbibed, and the ambient air temperature.  I am presupposing that one does not cheat and avail oneself of a convenient bush or dark alley. Wee mileages seem to be higher when employing a cab, mainly due to the fact one can take a last minute leak before starting the journey, and the cab will take you door to door with no waiting around at a chilly bus stop or draughty railway platform with the bladder clock ticking. This is the principal reason that I have never attended the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival at Olympia (this year the event takes place between the 7th and the 11th of August). The exhibition hall is admirably equipped with public conveniences, but once you leave the venue and head back to civilisation from West London the trouble starts. One would have to navigate the tube back to Charing Cross Station (it is possible to make a loo visit there - they used to have the temerity to charge a fee, but now I understand that they are now free to use). After this it is fifty minutes overland by train to Erith Station, in a train that has a loo - but that is almost always locked and out of use to stop vandalism. Just too much to endure - and thus far too high a wee mileage for me to even consider. A similar restriction occurs when taking bottles of water whilst out and about in hot weather - people guzzle water, then find that there are few if any loos around. What do you think? Leave a comment below, or alternatively Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

Now for the weekly local safety and security updates from Bexley Borough Neighbourhood Watch Association. Firstly from Barnehurst ward:- "Yet again another good week for Barnehurst Ward with no burglaries to report. There has also been no reports of vehicle crime on the ward. We have however had an incident reported for Criminal damage to a property in Eversley Avenue at 01.00am on 25/07/2018 whereby a window was smashed by persons unknown. Proactive patrols have been carried out to areas of concern, Hampton House, Merewood Road and alleyways on the ward have been covered throughout the shift when the team are on duty. The team popped into all shops in Barnehurst Road and Erith Road to speak with shop managers and staff and on Saturday held a community event at the local Sainsbury whereby customers were given crime prevention advice. Purse bells and personal attack alarms were given to vulnerable residents. Crime prevention leaflets covering all aspects from scams to home security were also made available for residents to take home and read. This was our first community event at Sainsbury and it proved very successful so we plan to hold more events here in the near future. These events give residents the opportunity to raise any concerns and to get to know their local policing team. With regards Bogus traders, there are so called traders going round targeting vulnerable and elderly residents. Do not be forced to make quick decisions on the doorstep. Get a few quotes from reputable companies. Be aware of companies that only use mobile numbers. Anyone who signs a contract on the doorstep following a visit that was not arranged does have 7 days in which to cancel it by law. Cancellation rights must be provided in writing to the customer at the time the contract is agreed (usually on the doorstep). If you don't want to speak to traders, don't answer the door and if you feel intimidated by anyone, close the door and call Police. Please look out for Vulnerable neighbours who may one day end up being a target. If you wish to meet the team to discuss any issues you may have, please join us at Barnehurst Golf Club on Thursday 2nd August 2018 at 1pm". Belvedere ward:- "There was an attempt break in at 4 Beckett Close on 21/07/2018 at around 13:45. Two men knocked on the front door of a house then went round the back and tried to break in. The occupant was home and this potentially scared them off. No entry gained. If anyone saw anything suspicious in the area around this time please contact us. We have been receiving complaints about the HMO at 83 Barnefield Road. This has ranged from noise, drunken behaviour and potential drug use. Again if anyone has any information about these issues please contact us. Further to the above we have had reports of drug dealing from a HMO at 41 Coleman Road. If anyone has any information please get in touch with the team. In other news PC Mike Cuell has joined the team for the next couple of months". Bexleyheath ward:- "We want to start off by saying that we have had no reports of any residential burglaries on the ward which is always nice to hear. Below is or brief summary of what has been going on our ward: 20/07/2018 - Theft from motor vehicle. Property taken from vehicle overnight along Freta Road; 21/07/2018 – Theft of pedal cycle along the Broadway – Bike owner allowed another person to ride their bike and had stolen bike; 21/07/2018 – Unauthorised taking of a motor vehicle by Bexleyheath Methodist Church; 21/07/2018 – Criminal damage to motor vehicle along Long Lane. Vehicle badge taken and vehicle scratched; 23/07/2018 – Criminal damage to property along the Broadway, shop sign damaged. We are holding our next contact session on the 3rd August between 2pm and 3pm at Café Nero along the Broadway. Please feel free to make others aware if they wish to pop in and have a chat. Please be aware of bogus callers and people dropping cards/leaflets through the door, if you need gardening/building work doing please do seek references from neighbours or friends. The team had been conducting targeted patrols in relation to the schools braking up for the holidays to help reduce any sort of anti-social behaviour issues. If you do want to pass on information to Police then please feel free to contact Crime stoppers on 0800 555111". Erith ward:- "Still motor vehicle crime is high on the ward: 19th July – Theft of motor vehicle – Ashburnham Road – Motorbike stolen from outside home address; 19th July – Theft of Motor Vehicle – West street – Car stolen from behind Café; 19th July – Criminal damage to motor vehicle – Diana Court – Front windscreen screen found by police; 20th July – Robbery – Pier Road – Money and phone stolen; 20th July – Attempted burglary – Alford Road – tried to force entry; 20th July – Attempted burglary – Morrison's – Timber and tiles removed from roof to try and gain entry; 21st July – Theft of Motor vehicle – Bexley Road – Left car due to broken down – gone the next day; 21st July – Criminal damage of Motor vehicle – Salford Close – Windscreen smashed; 22nd July – Burglary – Compton place – Phone stolen; 23rd July – Theft of Motor vehicle – Christchurch Avenue – Stolen overnight; 23rd July – Theft of motor vehicle – Battle Road – Unknown method; 23rd July - Theft from motor vehicle – Parkside Lodge – Erith Road – Broken into items taken; 25th July – Theft from motor vehicle – Christchurch Road – items taken; 25th July – Theft from motor vehicle - Park Crescent – Items taken; 25th July – Theft from motor vehicle – Chandlers drive – item taken; 25th July – Attempted burglary – Salford Road – Garage broken into – tools taken. This seems a lot of crime this week – but the SNT are working hard to combat issue within the ward. Pro-active patrols by whole team being done down at West Street due to residents' concerns. Our next coffee with cops will be on 3rd August at Erith library any concerns about the ward come and have a chat with local officers". Northumberland Heath ward:- "Great news again this week, no burglaries have been reported on the ward. Three theft from motor vehicles over the last week. On Monday July 16th at 1600 an orange topper light was stolen from a parked company vehicle in Walsingham Walk. A company minibus had number plates stolen in Brook Street on Friday July 2oth. Wing mirrors were stolen from a parked vehicle in Avenue Road overnight on Saturday July 21st. The team held our Ward Panel last Wednesday evening and it was decided that we would focus on anti-social behaviour in the Recreation Ground Sussex Road following a number of reports of motorbikes being ridden erratically. Our other promise is engagement and trying to recruit further Neighbourhood Watches on the ward. PS Dan young dealt with a male in Erith this week who was in possession of cannabis by completing a Community Resolution form. The next drop in Police Surgery will be held on Thursday August 2nd between 12pm – 1pm at the Library in Mill Road Erith". Slade Green and North End ward:- "Unfortunately we have 2 burglaries to report this week. On Thursday 19thy July at lunchtime a distraction burglary occurred at Cloudesley Road. A male pretending to be from the waterboard gained access to an 87 year old victim's property by deception and took jewellery and a wallet. He was caught in the act by the victim and ran out of the house. On Saturday 21st July between 11pm and 6am, an empty property was broken into in Manor Road. Fortunately, there was nothing there to steal but there is damage to the kitchen window where entry was gained. Crime prevention leaflets were delivered to neighbours at both locations. PC Telfer stopped a male on Forest Road Monday afternoon who was found in possession of cannabis. The drugs were seized and the relevant warnings were issued. We have a Community Contact Session at 12 midday in Forest Road Café this Tuesday 31st July. Please come and say hi if you are nearby. Please take care during this spell of very hot weather ensuring all downstairs windows are shut at night and if you are in the back garden, as well as having plenty of suncream on, please make sure any windows at the front of the home are closed as this can be the perfect opportunity for burglars to creep into your home unnoticed while the music is playing in the garden. It sounds maybe a bit far-fetched but it does genuinely happen. If you would like any further Crime Prevention advice, please let us know". Thamesmead East ward:- "Good news - Whilst on routine patrol PC's Pruden and Quarshie - Awuah dealt with a domestic which ended amicably and a neighbour dispute resolved. Burglaries - During the early hours of Sunday 22/07/18 an attempt to break into a garage had occurred in Mangold Way. Damage only to the garage door ,which has since been made secure. .Sheds and garages - Firstly, check that your insurance covers the contents of your shed/garage from theft. If you're off on holiday and wish to post anything on social media, make sure your posts aren't public and that they're only seen by your friends. Motor Vehicle Crimes - A motor cycle was stolen from outside of Trefoil House, Kale Road on Wednesday 18/07/18. Another motor cycle which only had the steering lock on was stolen from an address in Drake Crescent between the hours of 6:00pm on Sunday 22/07/18 and 6:30am Monday 23/07/18.A motor vehicle parked in Woburn Close was stolen between Sunday 15/07/18 and Monday 20/07/18.A motor vehicle was reported stolen from outside Clydesdale House, Kale Road, on Sunday 22/07/18 had not been used for some time, was last seen on 05/07/18. The number plates were stolen from a vehicle parked near Hinksey Path between the hours of 9:00pm and 11:59pm on Friday 20/07/18". West Heath ward:- "There was 1 reported burglary on West Heath Ward between 18/07/18 and 24/07/18. The victim in Hartley Road Welling found her window opened and her belongings moved but not sure whether anything was stolen. There were also three reported thefts of motor vehicles and theft from motor vehicle during the same period. A black Honda motor bike index LS15THK was stolen from Langley Road Welling on 24/07/18. A white FORD transit van index NV58FMF was stolen from Cumberland Drive Bexleyheath on 19/07/18 A white Vauxhall index BD09WXC was reported stolen on 21/07/18 by the victim Lodge Hill Welling when his friend failed to returned the vehicle on an agreed date. A number plate was stolen from a vehicle in New Road. West Heath Ward officers engaged with parents, teachers and pupils at Hillsgrove primary on the last day of term and the team is looking forward to more engagements with the schools after the holidays. Our next Community Contact Session (CCS) will be on 30/07/18 at Burchabro Road from 6pm -7pm".

The end video this week is of particular relevance to readers with an interest in local history. It features historical weapons expert Ian McCullam, and a presentation on the Maxim 37mm Automatic Cannon, a large calibre machine gun which was manufactured prior to World War One in the Maxim weapons factory in Fraser Road, Erith. Ian goes into some detail describing the development of the gun, and what customers purchased the fearsome weapon. Leave your comments below, or alternatively Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com. 

Sunset over Erith.

There are times when Erith can look vaguely exotic – such as when I took the photo above at around 8pm last Sunday evening - click on the picture for a larger version. It was taken from the Thames side path that runs behind the riverside apartments and town houses at the end of James Watt Way. I had walked along the path earlier in the day, but at that time the tide was out and the light was nothing like as interesting. Once the tide returned, covering up the unsightly (and somewhat whiffy when the wind is blowing the wrong way) Thames mud, and the sun began setting, the whole scene got a lot more interesting. Whilst I would be hard pressed to describe the Erith river front as glamorous, there are scant moments when conditions are just right when it can look utterly stunning. The reason for my walk along the riverfront that evening was twofold; firstly to try and catch the sunset with my camera on a lovely, calm evening, and on a less creative and more practical level, to see if I could photograph any of the scooter – riding scrotes who illegally race around the local area, and often ride along the riverfront walk. I had heard the “wasp in a biscuit tin” whine of scooter engines from home for much of the afternoon – there seemed to be more of the scumbags around than normal – and let me make it clear, I have absolutely nothing against the normal young lads (it is always guys, I have yet to see a girl riding a moped or scooter locally) whose first taste of independent motorised transport is a 50cc scooter. What annoys me and many other local people are the illegal riders who ride frequently stolen bikes on false plates with no helmets, insurance or consideration for either other road or pavement users. I don't know if these illegal riders are part of the Bike Life TV UK group who congregate around Thamesmead, Lower Belvedere and Erith, and one of whose members was recently killed outside The Morgan pub in Picardy Manorway. Whether they are or not, they pose a real threat to local road users and pedestrians alike. I soon encountered two illegal scooter riders, one of whom came zooming along the riverside walk, straight past me; he met up with another illegal rider on James Watt Way, where they both proceeded to pull wheelies on the public road. I managed to photograph them doing this, and the evidence has been passed to the Police for investigation - with the following result. Why the illegal riders all have to pull wheelies utterly escapes me; if you visit the Bike Life TV UK YouTube channel or Facebook page, all of the videos and seemingly most of the photographs show youths doing wheelies on mopeds and quad bikes – what really is the point of it? – It would be cheaper to have “I am an utter dickhead” tattooed over their foreheads, and the end result would be the same. Talking of Facebook; I needed to carry out some research on a couple of stories I will be featuring in a future edition of the Maggot Sandwich. In order to undertake the research, I had to create a Facebook account. As many readers will already know, I don't use Facebook or any form of social media, and I very tightly control the information that is available to the public outside of this blog. Pundits complain about the data they suppose that GCHQ and the NSA glean about the general public, not realising the irony that the biggest collector of personal data in the world is actually Facebook. Nevertheless I created an entirely fictional account (which has now been deleted – you will not find any reference to me via a Facebook search). I used it to check a number of pages for my research. I have to say that I am astounded at how Facebook has become so popular; it is clunky, the user interface is inconsistent and very dated, and even the search functionality returns wildly unreliable and illogical results. Bearing in mind the size and wealth of the site, it astounds me at just how poor the implementation is. Despite this, people obviously seem to like it – the sheer amount and detail of personal information that many Facebook users publish for anyone to see is staggering. I actually am surprised that more people are not victims of identity theft and other forms of fraud, as it seems that a sizable portion of the British public don't give two hoots for any form of online security. The fact is, once you publish something online, it is out there for the world to see – you cannot “un-publish” – once the information is out, it is out for good, whatever the consequences. Facebook would seem to be the ideal outlet for those who don’t mind self-publicity.

This week Kensington Olympia has been the venue for the 2015 CAMRA Great British Beer Festival; I have to admit that as a real ale fan, I have never been to this, the largest festival in the UK’s real ale calendar. I was at Olympia last month for a somewhat different kind of event – the Alzheimer’s Show, in connection with part of my day job. Over the years I have gone to Olympia on numerous occasions, and the standard way to get to the large venue is to go to Earl’s Court on the District Line, then get the one stop train to Kensington Olympia. But not nowadays. I stood on the West bound platform at Earl’s Court tube station, waiting for an Olympia train to pull in for around twenty minutes – the colleague I was with decided to ask a member of staff when the next Olympia special was due in. She was told “oh, those trains don't run anymore” and that we would need to either get a bus from outside of the station, or alternatively walk the mile and a bit to the venue. This was news to me. This means that the biggest problem for the Great British Beer Festival has just got worse. This problem is what I have described as “Wee Mileage” – the range one can travel on public transport before needing to empty one's bladder. A combination of factors create an artificial boundary as to how far one can travel from home, if intending to indulge in a tipple whilst out and about. Once you have left the hostelry or beer festival at the end of the evening, there is a finite amount of time available for travelling before one will be compelled to pump ones' bilges. Obviously this will vary between individuals and their personal bladder capacity / ability to hold on, the amount of liquid they have imbibed, and the ambient air temperature.  I am presupposing that one does not cheat and avail oneself of a convenient bush or dark alley. Wee mileages seem to be higher when employing a cab, mainly due to the fact one can take a last minute leak before starting the journey home, and the cab will take you door to door with no waiting around at a chilly bus stop or draughty railway platform with the bladder clock ticking. Bearing in mind the worrying lack of public toilets in and around Greater London nowadays, it means that if you wish to go to an event like a beer festival, you have to have your route and your stop – off points planned with military efficiency. Southeastern trains have a worrying habit of locking the on board loos, which again makes the situation even worse. Personally the whole thing puts me off attending the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival, as it is just more hassle than it is worth in my opinion. What do you think? Is there an alternative that I have overlooked? Let me know - Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

Smash hit and cult classic 1975 comedy film Monty Python And The Holy Grail is to be re-released in cinemas to mark its 40th anniversary. For one night only, on Wednesday 14th October 2015, the film will screen in 500 UK cinemas, in both its original and a brand new sing-a-long format. The screening will be accompanied by a specially filmed, exclusive introduction from surviving Pythons Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Eric Idle and John Cleese. The film companies behind the re-release say: "We want to make this a fun event and are encouraging audiences to come along dressed up as their favourite character,"  A brand new 40th anniversary special edition Blu-ray will also be released by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.

Cyber-crooks have latched on to online scams that exploit direct-to-bill payment options. Security company Malwarebytes warns that crooks are tricking users into visiting mobile sites containing malicious code that charges users via their mobile phone number. Victims are corralled through a complex series of pop-up adverts to a fly-by-night web address with a hidden payment button that charges a fee. Fraud victims only discover they've been fleeced after receiving a text saying "you've paid £5 for one entry for visiting our website" or similar. Direct-to-bill online services have been around for some years, offering consumers a means to pay for services using their mobile phones without relying on a credit or debit card. The facility has numerous legitimate uses (charity donations, for example) but in cases highlighted by Malwarebytes, fraudsters have abused the system to suit their own nefarious purposes. The scam illustrates the hidden danger from pop-ups, adverts and mobile redirects. In some cases, victims may be convinced they've not even interacted with the page in terms of clicking on buttons, filling in forms or signing up to something before receiving a text message stating they've been charged. Sites related to rogue charges place paid advertising on ad networks. These links go through a series of redirects before eventually landing at “one-time use” URLs – i.e. if you went back and visited one again, nothing would happen: you would simply see a blank page. This makes it difficult to determine the precise mechanism of the scam, though security analysts suspect hidden payment buttons. Frauds along this line have been a constant source of complaints on online forums and other websites for a number of years, according to Malwarebytes, in one of the first objective assessments of the impact of the apparently wide-ranging scam. Some of the thread posters will state that they did indeed click on things or download something, but the majority are firm in their belief that they didn’t interact with pages in any way, shape or form. Many of them mention having seen rogue pop-up ads before being billed (sometimes with content on them, sometimes not) and they are also understandably a touch worried. There are multiple complaints regarding repeat billing over time. Getting charges refunded can be difficult, according to the security analysts, who advise users to take advantage of mobile ad-blocker software. The main UK mobile network operators work hard to minimise abuse of services such as Payforit, an operator-run direct-to-bill payment service. The service is regulated by PhonepayPlus, the UK's premium rate phone-paid services regulator. PhonepayPlus is yet to respond to Malwarebytes' research, or on the extent of direct-to-bill payment fraud. This is a growing area of criminal activity, and something that the general public now need to be increasingly vigilant about.



I took the photo above as part of a series on Thursday night; a traveller caravan had parked illegally in Morrison's car park by James Watt Way and it was clear that they were setting up to stay the night. A petrol generator was running and it looked like at least another vehicle would shortly be joining them - the car in the photo does not possess a tow - hitch, so it was not the vehicle that brought the caravan to the location. Whilst I was on site, two Morrison's staff served a legal notice to quit on the occupants of the caravan. One told me that whilst one caravan in the corner of the car park was really no problem to anyone, where one appeared, forty could show up within twenty four hours. I have a libertarian attitude to life - "if it works for you". Which basically means I think that people should be free to do as they wish, as long as their actions do not cause harm, distress or inconvenience to others. Unfortunately the experiences of many locals with the travelling community have not been good. I will not paint them all with the same brush, but it would seem to me that the travellers need to police their own community members more thoroughly. There is good and bad in every social group, but it seems to me that the bad have the upper hand at present; this needs to change. 

The following guest article was kindly written by international broadcaster, soul music expert, and radio personality Gary Drew. "WBCQ is a free speech radio station broadcasting from the United States of America on shortwave using the C.Q. call sign recognised by radio amateurs around the world derived from the meaning 'pay attention'. A station operator calling C.Q. is asking for listeners to respond by seeing who is out there. WBCQ started broadcasting in 1998 after being granted a licence by the F.C.C. Federal Communications Commission. The idea for the station came from its manager and founder Allan H Weiner. Allan is a long time free radio enthusiast and engineer who has operated other radio stations in the past but his most famous and well known radio station followed on from the offshore radio era when he launched a boat off Jones Beach, Long Island New York called the MV Sarah (named after his ex wife) and began transmitting as Radio New York international from international waters in fact. The station lasted a very short time - only 5 days in Summer 1987 - on 4 frequencies AM, FM, Shortwave and even long wave. The station was meant to be a protest about restrictions on what could be played on radio at the time and being 4 miles off the coast, Allan was unaware of breaking any laws but he owned a station in Presque Isle Maine as well and by putting out broadcasts from RNI ended up costing him his licence on the Presque Isle station. Please note: Followers of offshore pirate radio in the United Kingdom should not confuse the RNI title with the Dutch / English radio station 'Radio North Sea International' which broadcast from 1970 - 1974 from the MV Mebo 2. You can see a rather poor quality news clip about Radio New York International here. You can hear some recordings from the AZanorak website  or directly from links here and here. The idea for 'WBCQ the planet' came from the ashes of Radio New York International and it has gained a very popular and loyal following over the past 17 years on the air. The station is on the internet 24 hours a day at http://www.wbcq.com/ and also uses four shortwave frequencies quite legally to this day. They are 5510, 7490, 9330 and 15420 KHz. The 5110 transmitter is used mainly for pirate radio themed output and the 9330 frequency in the 31 meter band is probably the one most likely to propagate into Europe. They hire airtime with very reasonable rates to other stations and for people who want to put out shows promoting free speech or free radio type themed programs. They even have a pirate pizza night most Saturday nights from around 8pm Eastern standard time - (01.00 UTC Sundays) and Friday nights at 8pm Eastern is the most popular show Allan Weiner Worldwide. This is where Allan gives out station information, gets the WBCQ family together and invites listeners both new and regular to call in. I find it very interesting myself but due to the time of the broadcast I have to download a copy of the shows from the archive so I can listen on demand from here. Allan has pirate links to the past including involvement with the falling star network and the world famous Radio Caroline. In fact when the Ross Revenge was grounded and nearly sank on the Goodwin Sands off the Kent coast in 1991 ending the offshore radio era for Radio Caroline, a recording was made the day after the event by Steve Conway and Neil Gates for a station called Radio New York International which I don't seem to be able to find now but I think it is on the AZanorak site somewhere. I think then the RNI name was used again on this occasion as part of a selection of programmes for a shortwave station called Radio Fax.  which Steve Conway also appeared on. Radio Fax was an 'unofficial' radio station testing the law by broadcasting on frequencies that had not been officially allocated by the ITU (International Telecommunications Union) meaning (in theory) if the channels weren't allocated anyone could use them until they were. This was another law that was tested and there is lots of information about it on the internet talking in particular about the 75 meter band and the frequencies between 3950 - 4000 KHz being spare and usable for all - or not so it seems. Anyway I hope you get a chance to sample Allan's show or listen to WBCQ as it is most different from anything we have here in the UK". Thanks Gary - a fascinating article on a radio station that has certainly ploughed its' own furrow. I think a number of my readers will wish to tune in to the station. I certainly do on a regular basis.

One worrying trend is now coming to light; homeowners are deliberately failing to report minor crimes in their area, because they fear that doing so could damage the value of their property. Now that there are several online services featuring interactive online crime maps, homeowners are turning a blind eye to minor crimes, raising fears that the interactive maps are actually distorting official crime statistics. A recent survey found that half of households had been the victim of minor property crime, such as vandalism or theft from a garden shed. Two thirds of the people surveyed said that they did not report the incident to the Police. One in twelve said that their motivation for not reporting the crime was the worry that it might adversely affect local house prices. Official statistics show that the crime rate in England and Wales fell by seven percent last year, to the lowest figures since 1981. Studies in the U.S.A show that higher crime rates depress house prices. Since 2011 the Police have mapped every incident of recorded crime online, where users can see exactly how many crimes and the type of offence committed on every street in Britain. More than half of prospective house owners check the website before they buy, and almost two thirds said that they would not buy a property in an area with a crime rate that was higher than average. The study was undertaken by the property maintenance company Aspect.co.uk. The figures have raised concerns that crime mapping may be encouraging criminals and distorting crime statistics.  What do you think? Have you encountered this kind of behaviour?



A story in the News Shopper this week has reinforced my opinion on two subjects. Firstly,  they recount yet another incident involving the Gravesend RNLI lifeboat being called to an incident at Erith Pier. Apparently a couple of teenage lads were messing around on the wrong side of the railings on the pier; as anyone familiar with the pier will know, if you fell off it, you would end up in deep, very fast flowing tidal water with a very thick layer of glutinous mud beneath. If you fell in, even in summer, your chances of survival would be slim. The kids were hanging off the railings in some kind of game of dare. An RNLI statement regarding the incident reads "The lifeboat was tasked to Erith Jetty today at 6.08pm to a group of teenagers hanging off the wrong side of the railings on the pier. A crewman was put up the ladder on to the pier but when he was at the top the group of teenagers was seen to be running off the pier. A gentleman who was on the pier confirmed that this was the group hanging off the railings and that there were no more of them left." I have to say I have seen this behaviour myself in the past – sooner or later one of the idiots is going to end up in the drink. Whilst the Gravesend lifeboat is relatively fast, it has to cover a huge amount of river – and can only be in one place at a time. An RNLI sub – station at Erith would be an ideal solution – and could be housed in the former Port of London Authority building adjacent to Erith Jetty, as featured in the photo above - click on it for a larger view. Which brings me on to my second point; the News Shopper reporter refers to both Erith Pier and Erith Jetty. It would seem that she interchanges the two names, apparently not realising that they are two entirely separate structures which are located a good couple of hundred metres from each other. This is not actually surprising to me; the so called “local” reporters are not local at all; the parent company of the News Shopper is an organisation called NewsQuest, who have closed down the News Shopper offices in Pett’s Wood, and moved the remaining staff over to their HQ in High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire. How reporters assigned to cover a geographical area which stretches from Bromley to Gravesend can operate from the opposite side of the region and still have sufficient levels of local knowledge, I do not know.

The promise of much reduced East / West journey times when the Crossrail project is completed are affecting house prices all along the route. Crossrail is set to add £5.5 billion to house values. The latest prediction comes as twenty six miles of tunnelling beneath the capital is completed, along with the first homes above a Crossrail station. The line, from Reading in the west to Shenfield and Abbey Wood in the east, will cut journey times to London significantly and increase the capacity of the Tube by ten per cent. For the first time in Britain, regeneration is happening in tandem with the construction of a new transport system, with 3.3 million square feet of residential, office and retail space planned above Crossrail stations. A total of 57,000 new homes will be built along the route, while councils are upgrading town centres and forward-thinking home buyers and savvy investors are starting to focus on the neighbourhoods being thrown into the spotlight. Woolwich is set to become a major transport hub. Woolwich Crossrail station is being built within 88-acre Royal Arsenal Riverside, a Berkeley Homes development that will have 5,000 new homes when complete in 2030.  More than a thousand of these homes will be above the station, and the first phase has been built on the east side. Ninety percent of the 631 apartments at Cannon Square have already been sold off-plan, many to absentee purchasers in Russia, China or the far East. The remaining three-bedroom, two-bathroom flats start at £647,500 and rise to £875,000 for a duplex penthouse. Not exactly affordable housing for local people. I worry that key workers will be priced out of commuting distance of the capital by foreign investors looking to relocate their cash into a stable economic environment outside of their unreliable / unstable totalitarian homelands. What do you think? Leave a comment below, or Email me at hugh.neal@gmail.com.

Recently the LibreOffice project released version 5.0 of their free, Microsoft Office compatible cross-platform office suite. The new release brings together a raft of features for a comprehensive office suite that runs across Linux, Windows, Mac, and increasingly the mobile space. Saying LibreOffice or Openoffice to people can lead to interesting reactions. For some people, LibreOffice is the darling of the open source software world, and for others, it is an unsatisfactory Microsoft Office alternative that they look down on. I believe that LibreOffice plays an important function in the world, and one that spans beyond the mere function of an office suite. Before we get to that though, I think looking back through the tremendous journey that led to the LibreOffice project we know today is important. Back in 1985 when a software developer called Marco Börries created StarWriter for the Zilog Z80. He later formed StarDivision and started building what we now consider to be a modern office suite. The fruits of this effort was Staroffice, which featured a word processor, spreadsheet, presentations, database, drawing, formula, and other tools. Back in the early days of Linux, Staroffice was the only serious office suite available for the burgeoning free operating system. It was true that Star Office was clunky and ugly, but it worked and filled an important role for new Linux users, who did not have access to Microsoft Office. In 1999, Sun Microsystems bought StarDivision for $73.5 million, and according to the press, buying the company was cheaper than buying Microsoft Office licenses for Sun employees. This naturally came with a key benefit: Sun Microsystems now owned an office suite. Sun made the formerly proprietary software code for Star Office open source, enabling third party software developers to add to and improve the office suites’ code. To reflect the change in status, the suite was re – named Openoffice. In early 2010, Oracle acquired Sun Microsystems. This sent shock waves throughout the open source software world, and later that year, The Document Foundation was announced as a new host for a new derivative of OpenOffice.org called LibreOffice. This new project would be the open source project that many users had lobbied for so long. Since those early days, the LibreOffice project has gone from strength to strength. The huge, monolithic codebase has been modularized, updated, and refined. The cross-platform support for Windows, Apple OS X and Linux has been expanded, new features added, bugs removed, and a revised sense of simplicity and usability has been applied. In addition to this, a new community was born, developer summits and conferences were founded, sponsors sourced, and sub-communities—such as documentation writers, translators, artists, designers, and more—created. To look at LibreOffice today and compare it to Microsoft Office can be tempting. Certainly LibreOffice does not provide the same level of features and finesse Microsoft's suite may boast (having said that eighty percent of MS Office users only use twenty percent of its capabilities and features), but what the free software engineering community has accomplished is phenomenal. Developing LibreOffice has been hard, technically challenging, and at times de-motivating work, and contributors' efforts can be seen by millions of users across the world, proving that Microsoft Office is not the only office suite available – and LibreOffice is completely free to download and use. You can find the download website for Windows, Apple OS X and Linux here.

It is always difficult when a film or TV producer re - visits a franchise that is regarded as a national institution; Eon Productions were slated by many fans when they cast Daniel Craig as James Bond "we cannot have a blonde Bond" and the website "Craigsnotbond" was created. Suffice to say that the critics were roundly silenced. In many cases the re - booting of an old and much loved show does not work - the new actors don't have the same chemistry with each other, or the premise is changed from the original. I am keeping an open mind about the forthcoming new "Dad's Army" movie. It has a stellar cast, all of whom bear more than a passing resemblance to the original actors who starred in the much beloved original TV series. Whether the film turns out to be any good, we will have to wait and see. You can watch the trailer below, and see for yourself. 

The Erith Flyover?

The photo above was taken by me yesterday afternoon - it shows the abstract ship sculpture between the Erith Riverside Shopping Centre and Morrison's car park. It has survived for about four years with no apparent attempt to vandalise it, which has to be saying something. I took a few photos in the pleasant weather; the quality of light was such that several of the shots had somewhat over saturated colours, which I had to tweak using Aperture on my iMac. You can see the results by clicking here.

Today I discovered something potentially quite important relating to Erith's future development. Bexley Council have submitted a planning application for a new road bridge across the railway at the junction of Bexley Road, and Queen's Road, Erith, adjacent to Erith Railway Station. This will fundamentally impact the way travellers enter Erith from London from both the A2 (via Gravel Hill, Bexleyheath and Northumberland Heath) and the South Circular (via Bronze Age Way from Woolwich and Abbey Wood). I think that the reference to a listed building in the notice is in respect of Christ Church, which is adjacent to the site of the proposed works. It is a Grade II listed building. You can see the photo I took of the planning application, which has recently been posted near the location of the proposed work. I notice that the application is not yet showing on the Bexley Council website.

Some students at Trinity School have made a short film about the sense of community, or lack thereof in Erith. From traditional Victorian high street to a 1960s concrete jungle to a modern shopping mall, Erith's town centre has had more than a facelift as it aged. How do these changes impact on the community who live and shop in Erith? These are some of the issues explored, and quite interestingly the conclusion arrived to by the group of bright and involved teenagers is strikingly similar to those who have lived in the town for decades. Do give it a watch, and see what you think.

The photo below was taken by Ian on his iPhone - I have tarted it up a bit, as the original was suffering quite badly from ambient glare. It is quite an arty still - life composition, which quite neatly sums up the 2011 Bexley Beer Festival, held at Sidcup Sports Club over the holiday weekend. I did bump into a reader of the Maggot Sandwich, who was a fellow festival visitor. A very nice, personable chap, but I neglected to ask him his name, which is rather remiss of me. The festival was exceedingly well attended, and the beer ran out by the end of the Friday evening, meaning the final day was likely to be a wash out - not to fear; I feel that due to the extended Bank Holiday, most attendees had already made the most of the time, and had already filled their boots. The only criticism I would make of the event is the same one I have levelled before - that the venue does not permit visitors to use their excellent toilet facilities - one is compelled to visit the row of Turdises parked outside. They were well cared for, clean and not at all smelly, but a bit of a nightmare to navigate once the light faded, as they had no internal illumination. The sports centre management really need to buck their ideas up and think rather more closely about customer care and satisfaction. Having made that gripe, the event itself was extremely enjoyable, with some excellent real ales available to sample. The weather was also good - something that has almost always not been the case in previous years.

At the end of the evening, we stumped up a not unreasonable £20 for a taxi to take us to our respective abodes. The Sidcup Sports Club is around a three quarters of a mile walk from the 229 bus stop in central Sidcup, which has buses travelling back to Erith; it is then around a 45 minute bus ride back to Erith Town Centre. To me this is an unacceptably long wee mileage. Wee mileage is a concept I developed back in November 2009; I expounded it at the time, but perhaps it deserves a revisit. It encompasses irregular and unreliable public transport, the woeful lack of public toilets in this country nowadays, and the propensity which many have for going out for a quiet pint on the odd occasion. I call my theory Wee Mileage. The aforementioned factors create an artificial boundary as to how far one can travel from home, if intending to indulge in a tipple whilst out and about. Once you have left the hostelry or beer festival at the end of the evening, there is a finite amount of time available for travelling before one will be compelled to pump ones' bilges. Obviously this will vary between individuals and their personal bladder capacity / ability to hold on, the amont of liquid they have imbibed, and the ambient air temperature.  I am presupposing that one does not cheat and avail oneself of a convenient bush or dark alley. Wee mileages seem to be higher when employing a cab, mainly due to the fact one can take a last minute leak before starting the journey, and the cab will take you door to door with no waiting around at a chilly bus stop or draughty railway platform with the bladder clock ticking. This is the principal reason that I have never attended the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival at Earl's Court. The exhibition hall is admirably equipped with public conveniences, but once you leave the venue and head back to civilisation from West London the trouble starts. One would have to navigate the tube back to Charing Cross (it is possible to make a loo visit there - though if memory serves, they have the temerity to require an admission fee). After this it is fifty minutes overland by train to Erith, in a train that has a loo - but that is always locked and out of use to stop vandalism. Just too much to endure - and thus far too high a wee mileage for me to even consider.

I am sure that someone more mathematically inclined could reduce this set of half formed musings into an equation. I did start making some rough drawings of an engineering solution to the problem; my solution involved some rubber or polypropylene hose, a small tap, and a couple of rubber bands. The whole idea was to create a pipe from ones' underwear, which would lead down your trouser  leg to one side of the foot. When the user felt the need for relief where no conveniences were available, he could stand over a drain or gutter,  turn the tap and let rip at leisure. Passers by would be none the wiser. My solution was modelled on the system of trouser based bags used in The Great Escape to dispose of the tunnelling earth - they dropped it out of the bottom of each trouser leg, then scuffed it in. I excitedly told Ian of my invention, only for him to tell me that the Japanese have been marketing such devices for several years. My dreams of fame and fortune were shattered; I had hoped to do for weeing in public what Trevor Bayliss has for the wind up radio. Oh well.

The Furniture Liquidation Store (a strange name - it sounds like an extermination camp for sofas) is finally closing down. As previously mentioned, the place is currently undergoing a clearance sale; unfortunately most of their stock appears to be tat - certainly nothing to interest most people wanting quality and durability. Whether the place does become a Thai boxing gym, only time will tell. Personally a quality Thai restaurant would be a nicer proposition, though somehow I think it more than highly unlikely. The problem for anyone taking the site is straightforward. It is a large amount of floor area for a store in a small town. People do not travel especially to Erith in order to shop - they do so because they live locally. Unless you run a specialised local emporium, such as The Model Train Shop, whose business is almost exclusively web based, you are pretty restricted as to what you can retail. Erith is not a "destination" town, so large specialist shops are really out of the question. The only kind of undertaking that could successfully utilise the large store would possibly be an amalgamation of the three or four African food and clothing stores already located in the town. Please leave your thoughts and comments below.

I had a nice Email from Nick Jackson of Absolute Radio yesterday. Nick and I were shipmates on the Ross Revenge, home of Radio Caroline in the late 80's / early 90's. He's stayed in radio and made a very good name for himself. He's having a bit of a busman's holiday, doing some shows over the bank holiday weekend for Radio Caroline, broadcasting live from Tilbury Dock. You can read all about Caroline and their campaign for a licence here.

Well, I have held back this photo for a long time, uncertain of the best time to publish it online; it shows me on the aft deck of the Ross Revenge in the Summer of 1990. As you will see I am somewhat slimmer and hairier than now! The photo was taken by a crew member of a visiting supply ship one sunny afternoon. I was presenting the overnight album rock show to an audience in the UK and Western Europe. More of that below.

Here is a link to a rather large MP3 file you can download. It features a rather muffled recording of yours truly presenting a programme on Radio Caroline back in May 1990. I was most definitely the "new boy" at the time - I sound nervous, and about 12 years old - very small and squeaky! Let me know what you think - and do bear in mind it was recorded onto cassette tape from an AM radio broadcast, so the quality  is not that great.

Download the programme here.

The photo above shows the Air Ambulance, which landed on the site of the demolished petrol garage in Fraser Road, close to the old Nordenfeldt site. The shot above was taken from Alford Road towards Fraser Road, through the ornamental garden in between. There had just been a serious car crash. Apparently a number of casualties were treated at the scene, and two people were airlifted to hospital. The road was closed for some time, a fact that was reported on BBC Radio 2 at the time. For some strange reason neither the News Shopper or the Bexley Times picked up on the story.

Belvedere Splash Park has now opened for the Spring / Summer season. It is the largest free access public wet play area in the U.K. Children can paddle in a lagoon surrounding a desert island and play on a huge safety surfaced "beach" equipped with water sprinklers, showers, bubble jets and sprays. It is an ideal place to take children on a hot day, though it can get very busy during the weekend and school holidays if the weather is warm.

Mentioning all things aerial, I am not alone in having seen the Goodyear Airship over Erith on a number of recent occasions. I believe it is performing some rehearsal runs prior to neat years' Olympic Games in East London. It is not to be confused with the Stella Zeppelin, which regularly traversed local skies back in July and August 2008 - you can see more about that particular story by clicking here.

When mentioning all things retro, frequent mention is made of  people no longer seeing white dog poo. The origin of this was that in years gone by, cheap dog food was adulterated with large amounts of calcium carbonate, which acted to bulk out the meat. When the food was subsequently vacated, weathering would cause the organic material to disappear, leaving whitish chalk deposits. Nowadays dog food is no longer made in such a manner - hence the disappearance of the aforementioned white dog poo. More to the point - have you noticed that it is very rare to ever see a rusty car on the road? When I was small, almost every other car that passed would have signs of corrosion on the wheel arches or general bodywork. Again this is no longer the case - the standard of corrosion protection, along with more stringent MOT standards have seen paid to this.

Over the last week, the Maggot Sandwich has been read by a number of unexpected visitors. I have had hits from people resident in countries including Latvia, Moldova, and most surprisingly of all, Iran. Quite what Iranian readers would find of interest on a rambling blog, loosely based on the goings on in an otherwise unremarkable South East London suburb is somewhat beyond me; they are of course more than welcome, but I would have thought that they would be better employed reading some tof the online journals of the various members of the pro democracy movement. Whatever, international visitors are welcome to drop in to read my semi literate jottings. The Maggot Sandwich has now been viewed by just over 28,000 unique individuals.

Lastly, this weeks' video features a new version of a track by Welling's own Kate Bush. The video features a host of prestigious British actors, and true to much of Kates' other work, is simultaneously creepy and baffling, but very worth while watching. Comments below, as always.

Buses and Bread Jazz.

The 99 bus route between Woolwich and Bexleyheath has been undergoing more richly deserved flak; the buses bunch up - you can find yourself waiting 30 minutes or more, only to have three turn up at once. I recently spoke to a bus controller at Plumstead, who said they were acutely aware of the problem. He said that it was partly caused by the convoluted journey around the houses at the Slade Green part of the route. They inherited this from the old 469 route, which used the smaller and more agile single deck buses. The 99 uses double deckers as shown in the photo above (click for a larger view). These have difficulty in navigating the narrow streets around Slade Green station, especially if there are a lot of parked cars. Apparently the bus company have asked to modify the route, and this is currently in consideration by Transport for London. I have been doing some research into the who bus clumping issue, and it would appear to be a phenomenon that has undergone some academic research; you can read an article about the subject from New Scientist by clicking here.

Additionally (and who says I don't plan these things?) I have developed a new theory over the past couple of weeks. It encompasses irregular and unreliable public transport, the woeful lack of public toilets in this country nowadays, and the propensity which many have for going out for a quiet pint on the odd occasion. I call my theory Wee Mileage. The aforementioned factors create an artificial boundary as to how far one can travel from home, if intending to indulge in a tipple whilst out and about. Once you have left the hostelry at the end of the evening, there is a finite amount of time available for travelling before one will be compelled to pump ones' bilges. Obviously this will vary between individuals and their personal bladder capacity / ability to hold on, the amont of liquid they have imbibed, and the ambient air temperature.  I am presupposing that one does not cheat and avail oneself of a convenient bush or dark alley. Wee mileages seem to be higher when employing a cab, mainly due to the fact one can take a last minute leak before starting the journey, and the cab will take you door to door with no waiting around at a chilly bus stop or draughty railway platform with the bladder clock ticking. This is the principal reason that I have never attended the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival at Earl's Court. The exhibition hall is admirably equipped with public conveniences, but once you leave the venue and head back to civilisation from West London the trouble starts. One would have to navigate the tube back to Charing Cross (it is possible to make a loo visit there - though if memory serves, they have the temerity to require an admission fee). After this it is fifty minutes overland by train to Erith, in a train that has a loo - but that is always locked and out of use to stop vandalism. Just too much to endure - and thus far too high a wee mileage for me to even consider.

I am sure that someone more mathematically inclined could reduce this set of half formed musings into an equation. I did start making some rough drawings of an engineering solution to the problem; my solution involved some rubber or polypropylene hose, a small tap, and a couple of rubber bands. The whole idea was to create a pipe from ones' underwear, which would lead down your trouser  leg to one side of the foot. When the user felt the need for relief where no conveniences were available, he could stand over a drain or gutter,  turn the tap and let rip at leisure. Passers by would be none the wiser. My solution was modelled on the system of trouser based bags used in The Great Escape to dispose of the tunnelling earth - they dropped it out of the bottom of each trouser leg, then scuffed it in. I excitedly told Ian of my invention, only for him to tell me that the Japanese have been marketing such devices for several years. My dreams of fame and fortune were shattered; I had hoped to do for weeing in public what Trevor Bayliss has for the wind up radio. Oh well.

One thing I really appreciate at work is the fact our lunches are heavily subsidised; we have a choice of several hot dishes including a vegetarian option; there are a wide variety of pre packed rolls and sandwiches, jacket potatoes with various fillings and a large salad bar. One real clincher for me is the custom sandwich and baguette bar - the catering staff will make up a totally bespoke sandwich from a wide variety of fresh ingredients at your request. You can really go to town and point out some really unusual filling combinations - a sort of free form bread jazz, if you will.

I have found online a short ten minute documentary all about the world's smallest country. Many people in the U.K are totally unaware that this tiny sovereign state exists a few miles off the Essex coast. It is the old sea fort, the Roughs Tower, located seven miles outside Harwich, which is now more properly known as The Principality of Sealand.  Years ago, whilst I was working for Radio Caroline, I was offered the chance to spend a few weeks on board Sealand. I used to spend many evenings talking to Sealand's chief engineer, Mike Barrington using an old CB radio on the bridge of Caroline's ship the Ross Revenge. Barrington had formerly worked as no. 2 engineer on Caroline, so he was a great source of information and advice for me - almost like a technical support helpline via radio. For various scheduling reasons, I never made it onto Sealand. Something I regret today, as it would have been instructive.

Following last weeks' video clip and comments in respect of Steel Panther, their gig at Wembley Arena in support of ZZ Top was reviewed in the Times - click here to read it.

Viz magazine celebrates its' 30th birthday this week; I read it on a semi regular basis, and I am a dedicated fan of their Profansisaurus.

October the 28th was Climate Fool's Day. This was set up to mark the sceptics' view on the climate change debate. It is safe to assume that many people have started to become sceptical concerning the dynamics of so called man made climate change. In recent years there have been seen to be many inconsistencies in the proposition that we have changed the Earth's climate with our pollution. You can read more about the Climate Realist's views here. Personally I can see valid arguments on both sides, but it does currently seem only one opinion is given any public air time, and if you question the science used by the global warming people, one gets looked at as a crank. I am just asking for a more open and informed debate based on sound, verifiable science, rather than the current half baked new age hippy clap trap we currently have to suffer.



I have spent the last couple of days with my Asus EeePC mini netbook (photo above), trying to update the operating system from Ubuntu Netbook remix 9.04 to 9.10. Something that should normally be pretty straightforward and painless. Not this time unfortunately. Many applications broke, or had weird unexpected dependancies. I ended up hosing the installation and starting from scratch. I have told the Asus that if it does not behave, it could end up with PC BSD Unix on it instead...

In my only minor concession to last nights' Halloween shenanigans, I have found the following video online; it is a cover version of Ray Parker Jr's seminal early 80's hit "Ghostbusters" from the excellent comedy horror movie of the same name. The band are called Hoobastank - and no, I have not heard of them either. See what you think and feel free to leave a comment below, as always.