The lifeboat.

The photo above shows my lifeboat this week. I have been banging on about refurbishing, rather than recycling old computers for some time; I have now put this into practice. My Mum's old G4 Apple iMac Mini had seen somewhat better days - it was at its' end of life, with no further updates or applications available for its' venerable version of OS X. I have breathed new life into it, installing Yellow Dog Linux 6.2 onto it. I have added a new keyboard, mouse and flat screen monitor to the equation, and this week's Maggot Sandwich is being compiled using the five year old and formerly outdated Apple computer. The reason for the title of this week's Maggot Sandwich submission is that my main Apple iMac has had to undergo some fairy extensive remedial surgery. Some weeks ago I installed Adobe anti virus for Mac, mainly to protect people using Windows computers from malicious attachments, potentially forwarded from my Mac. Anyway, the application was an utter pile of poo. It was slow, badly written, full of bugs, and generally not up to scratch. I uninstalled it, thinking little more about it at the time. I was not to know that the software fatally injured my Mac, borking a number of vital system files. The end result is that I have had to hose the best part of a Terabyte of data from the machine, nuke to the operating system installation and start from scratch, reinstalling data from backups. This has taken a couple of days and I am still not quite up to speed, but it is getting there. The old machine running Linux has proved invaluable as a second line reserve; my virtual lifeboat in a time of need. I have found much solace in a word coined by those nice people at Viz Magazine; it is not rude in any way whatsoever, but if said or shouted with enough conviction, it sounds like it should be. The word? Kingbast! What a splendid use of the English language.

The photo above, courtesy of a CCTV feed acquired by the News Shopper, shows some of the ne'er do wells riding horses in and out of the Cross Keys pub - the story made not only the Metro, but the Sun as well! You can read more about the sorry incident by clicking here. These are not true travellers, a people who traditionally love and respect animals; they are just a bunch of feckless yobs using the traveller label. The Cross Keys has now lost its' licence and is closed for the foreseeable future. I can only wistfully hope that Young's, Fuller's or Shepherd Neame take the place on and turn it into a decent venue serving real ale and proper food. I am however not holding my breath! The Cross Keys is in a conservation area, and could do with a sympathetic internal makeover, as currently the interior of the place is lamentable. You can read about the place here. By way of an aside, the map below shows the legally permitted drinking ages around the world, country by country. Click on the map for a larger view. I do these things so that you don't have to.

After a few wild guesses, no-one was able to figure out where last weeks' photo of yours truly was taken - it was in the pantry section of the Dial Arch in Woolwich, last weekend. Better luck next time.

Pewty Acres is about to go an extensive makeover and refurbishment; I have decided to invest some cash in doing the place up. The first thing to get professional attention is my central heating; I am having the existing radiator system high temperature power flushed, then a new high efficiency boiler, a new digital timer, thermostat, filtration unit and corrosion preventer unit will be installed by Swale Heating at the end of the month. It is not a cheap undertaking, but I think the end results will be worth it. Once this has been done, it will be time for new double glazed windows and doors, followed by some new carpets and flooring for the kitchen and bathroom. Interest rates are currently so lamentable, it is preferable to invest money in my property, rather than tying it up in pointless savings.

Above is a promotional video produced by Swale Heating, which gives a good idea as to what they do; I have to say that so far, my dealings with them have shown the company to be professional and efficient. I will report further once the heating upgrade work has been completed in a couple of weeks' time.

I see that a public minded individual has set up a website dedicated to Erith - you can view Erithtown.net by clicking here. You can read more about the enterprise by clicking here.

I see with satisfaction that finally the wicked witch is dead; the lamentable and gaffe prone Sarah Kennedy has finally been axed from the early morning breakfast show on BBC Radio Two. Her meandering and confused delivery, and general bewilderment as to where she was, and what she was doing on an almost daily basis have finally come to a conclusion. I am pretty much convinced that she was drunk on air on a regular basis, and it would appear that I am not alone in that conclusion. You can read more about the whole situation by clicking here. Her replacement, Lynn Parsons seems to be far more suited to the job.

The main video below is an excerpt from the BBC TV series "Coast", shown earlier this week. It features veteran Radio Caroline DJ Tom Anderson revisiting the wreck of the M.V Mi Amigo, which sank in 1980. Apparently one of the conditions of Tom appearing on the programme was that the BBC would make clear that Caroline did not end with the sinking of the Mi Amigo, but went on in strength with the Ross Revenge and continue on land via satellite and internet broadcasts to this day. The Beeb reneged on this deal, and the article seems to infer that it all ended with the sinking. Tom was of an earlier generation of Radio Caroline presenters, and thought I met him on a couple of occasions, I could not say that I knew him - I was but a callow youth at the time. Watch the clip below and see what you think; feel free to post a comment with your own thoughts and feedback.

Blogger at 10.

 

 

Blogger has quietly reached its' tenth birthday; the screen shot at the top shows what it looked like at the time of its' launch, whilst the lower image shows the login screen of today. Whilst I have not been using Blogger for quite that length of time, I have been around for long enough to appreciate the changes and improvements that have come to the system. In my early days of online publishing, more often than not I would get some dreaded HTML error message when I went to post my weekly content. Blogger was very intolerant of formatting faults - for example, if you posted something, then decided to edit it into a different font, you would get dire warnings of doom - though the content would generally look OK when it went up. No idea why - suffice to say, it was arcane and mysterious, and you never really knew what you were going to get up with on your blog page. Things have changed massively since. and Blogger is now much more user friendly, feature filled and predictable. You can read more about Blogger on the BBC News website here.

Is there some kind of secret agreement between the manufacturers of potato crisps - I wonder if they have covert meetings in darkened chambers to decide the conventions around branding and marketing of these potato-oid snacks. It then leads me to wonder how and why Walker's choose to buck the widely followed convention that Cheese and Onion crisps should be in a green themed packet, whilst Salt and Vinegar crisps should appear in blue. Walkers do the opposite, much to the consternation of both myself and the wider crisp - o - phile community. This state of affairs has been ongoing for years, and I think it is high time the public received an answer.

Former Bexley Council leader Ian Clement has fallen on his sword after admitting three counts of fraud, after being caught fiddling his expenses whilst employed as deputy Mayor of London - from what I gather this mainly involved the falsification of restaurant receipts, when he was wining and dining his mistress. I have to say that I went to school with Ian Clement, though he was a couple of years older than me; he always struck me as a relatively amiable bloke, certainly not the sharpest knife in the drawer; probably why he got caught after fiddling a relatively small amount of money. His career and reputation are now in tatters. At least he has not taken the route to infamy that Budd Dyer did. Ian has got community service and a curfew.

The redevelopment of Erith took another turn this week; a consultation document has been posted to all local residents outlining four proposals to rejuvenate the area. The trouble is, the details in the leaflet are so mind bogglingly vague, one has little actual idea what the four distinct proposals are!



The photo above shows the now empty and grassed over former site of Erith Swimming Baths, which forms a fundamental element to all of the redevelopment schemes. Many locals are concerned that the excellent Erith Riverside Gardens will be at risk of being built on to create yuppie apartments with a river view and easy access to London via the almost adjacent Erith Railway Station. I tend to concur with this gloomy prediction; one of the few pleasant and scenic parts of the otherwise benighted town is sure to become the victim of the developers - after all, they don't have to live here.

The new series of Hut 33 begins this Wednesday on BBC Radio 4 at 11.30 am. It will then be available for a week on the excellent BBC iPlayer service. If you have not heard of this utter gem of radio comedy, you are the poorer for it. You can read an outline of the show by clicking here, and a guide to the main characters here. Basically it is about a group of mismatched and incompetent allied code breakers at Bletchley Park, during World War 2; the stories are less about code breaking and far more about character conflicts and absurd situations. I would rate it as better than Blackadder goes forth and at least an equal to the best episodes of Dad's Army. There is even a Facebook group set up to campaign to get it to transfer from radio to television. I am not sure how well that might work, but you can visit their site here if you wish.



I have been using the digital studio package Audacity for over a year (see the photo above) - it is a truly excellent audio recording, processing and editing tool; on top of all that it is available for Windows, Mac OS X and Linux too. It is free and open source, which really tops it all off. I have introduced Audacity to a friend who is a professional musician, with previous experience of proprietary applications like Cubase, and he was gob smacked by both its' power and simplicity of use. You can download it for free from the Audacity website here.

Erith resident, author and photographer Crash Calloway has an exhibition of his photographs of Erith and the surrounding areas in both colour and black and white. They will be on show in the new Erith Library between the 2nd and 14th of November.  Having been following his work online for a couple of years, I can thoroughly recommend him - do take a stroll along to the library. I know I will. The Crash Calloway Flickr site can be found here.

BBC4 television showed a one - off historical comedy drama called Micro Men this week; it was the somewhat fictionalised story of the battle in the early eighties between Sinclair Research and Acorn Computers to become the supplier of the BBC Micro Computer - what would later affectionately be nicknamed "The Beeb". The show was a bit hit and miss, with a pretty full on character assassination of Clive Sinclair - you can view the entire programme online on the BBC iPlayer site. See what you think. The video clip below shows a scene involving staff at Acorn having an impromptu product strategy meeting whilst sharing a Chinese take - away; the trouble is, they don't have any cutlery...

Jelly babies and the Beeb.

The photos above are a bit of belated photo journalism; I had intended to publish them last week when they would have been rather more timely and relevant, but the lorry crashing into my garden and that of four of my neighbours rather focused my attention at the time. The photos show EDF engineers undertaking repairs to the cable bridge in Dartford, where the fire that caused so much disruption and prolonged power cuts to the whole area started. The photographs were taken by Erith resident Derek Laver, and passed onto me by neighbour and now honorary Captain Tweed special agent, Earl. Now that power has been permanently restored, EDF are proving somewhat ungenerous in their offers of compensation. Under their terms most Erith residents will not be able to claim to paltry £50 token payment offered. Personally I am not going to demean myself by making a claim - it is patently clear from the correspondence I have received from them that they don't intend to pay. The delights of privatised utility companies I suppose. Still no definite information about the exact circumstances of the electrical cable fire, and consequently rumours abound; I have heard a number of differing stories, which range from the claim that two men broke into the cable bridge in order to steal the high voltage copper cable therein; according to one source, one man was electrocuted and died pretty much instantly, whilst the other lost an arm and is under guard in a local hospital. Another, rather more fanciful theory is that it was the first direct action by the Northumberland Heath branch of Al Qaeda. Time, as they say, will tell.



The photo above shows a copy of the article that was printed in this weeks' News Shopper local paper about the incident with the lorry that I reported last week. The online version is somewhat more verbose, and can be read here. Online photo credits go to both Crash Calloway and myself to a lesser extent. I have been getting quite a lot of traffic on my Flickr photo site - to take a look, please click here. Suffice to say that the driver of the lorry went to court on Monday and was fined a paltry £75 with £45 costs, and eight points added to his licence. In my opinion he would have been boiled in oil in any decently ordered society. My badly damaged garden fence and gate has been speedily removed and replaced with a splendid, bespoke timber creation, complete with a new powder coated wrought iron gate. It cost a small fortune to have the work carried out - especially at such short notice, but the end result is very satisfactory - so much better than buying a few pre - fabricated fence panels from somewhere like B&Q. It does go to show that the British craftsman is still alive and well, just so long as you keep him liberally supplied with steaming mugs of tea. I have elected to pay the bill out of my own pocket, rather than claiming on my house insurance, as I don't want my premium to shoot up, as it is wont to do after a claim. I would estimate that the total cost of the lorry crash to the local residents and their insurance companies, including the writing off of a parked car must be in excess of £17,000 - a lot of damage to incur only a £75 fine. I know several claims adjusters have been visiting neighbours, and a few very shady looking "workmen" have been offering to carry out remedial work - personally the ones I have seen have been extremely dodgy looking, and liable to disappear as soon as any money was exchanged.

The current warm but damp weather seems to have brought out a very rare specimen - the elderly gent wearing baggy "It ain't half hot Mum" era shorts. Yesterday, within a space of no more than five minutes, I saw seven such blokes flaunting their pale, scrawny and varicosed legs, probably seeing the light of day for the first time since the Korean War. Not a pretty, or indeed dignified sight to behold. Personally I feel that there are absolutely no circumstances when I would wear shorts; they are an utter anathema to me.

Another object worthy of a rant is the humble hot air hand drier, as found in many a pub toilet. Nowadays they seem to have been strangled to an output power of around 400 watts, and have all the hand drying abilities of an asthmatic badger - about all they do is move the water round a little, and one ends up wiping your hands on your trousers, as typically no paper towels will be available. Pub landlords - either turn up the wick on your hand dryers to old time levels of oomph, or replace them with disposable towels.

I am of the opinion that within a few short years, the only apparel one will be permitted to wear will be the (already almost ubiquitous) high visibility jacket. Wherever I go I am confronted with people wearing them for multifarious reasons - everything from your bog standard highway worker to every single child in a school party on a visit to Greenwich that I encountered on the train a couple of weeks ago. The "hi vis" jacket is becoming a victim of its' own celebrity - who after all notices them any more? The whole point seems to have become lost. Perhaps railway workers will wear beige in future, in order to stand out in an eye - watering sea of neon yellow and fluorescent orange.

On Thursday evening Mum, Ian and I attended the recording of this weeks' edition of the topical BBC Radio 4 Comedy programme The Now Show. Before the start, audience members were asked to fill in a short questionnaire asking if we had anything that had frightened us as a child, what caused the fright, and what we did about it. I sat in the outer lounge of the BBC Radio Theatre and had a bit of a think - as a topical comedy show, they were patently not looking for an in depth psychological analysis, rather something that would make people laugh. My answers were as follows:

"What were you scared of when you were young?" Jelly Babies.

"Why?" I hated the way they stared at me.

"How did you get over it?" I ate their eyes first.

Amazingly, this got a really good laugh when Hugh Dennis read my submission out, and I got more of a surprise when it made the edit, and was broadcast towards the end of the transmitted show! Maybe this is my first tentative foray into script writing?

The video clip this week is from a group who are trying to restore the Red Sands tower (an abandoned Maunsell fort in the River Thames Estuary) to working condition. The clip explains what he towers are, and what the restoration group are setting out to achieve.