Friday, August 04, 2006

Things that really REALLY annoy me - part two.

Mini motor bikes. This is not me suddenly jumping on the band wagon - I have been harping on about these vile devices for at least a couple of years, having been subject to the local slack jawed Chavs and Pikies racing around on these pointless and ridiculous conveyances with engines that sound like a wasp trapped in a biscuit tin and risk countless people's health and well being. A local Erith Chav became an unwitting candidate for a Darwin award after racing his mini motor bike into the side of a parked car; the plastic petrol tank split and the bike exploded, thus ridding the planet of one oxygen thieving rat boy. More please. I am no fan of this government (or any, for that matter - the desire to be a politician is a personality disorder of the highest manner), but I am glad that they are supporting the crushing of these mini Chav mobiles - I just hope the owners get crushed with them - Sky could sell the TV coverage on pay per view.

People who say "Them" instead of "Those" as in "them people" instead of "those people" Laziness, ignorance and and a sure fire indicator of latent chavness. Often encountered in people who, when referring to the letter "H", call it "haitch" instead of "aitch". Usually those from the lower orders who frequent Lidl, Cash Converters and McDonalds and don't bother getting out of their (infrequent) baths to have a wee.

Badly dubbed foreign TV adverts, usually from Germany or Spain - lip synching is almost non existent, and insulting to the viewer. The "What a feeling" advert featuring a generic female European cop directing a traffic jam whilst suffering from indigestion is a prime example of this genre. Lazy, cheapskate and a great turn off for the product in question. Besides which, the lighting and colour timing are all wrong for a commercal meant to be set in Nothern Europe - who do they think they are kidding?

Disney Corporation - I will not even dignify them with an explanation; suffice to say that they are directly responsible for the deletion of my post regarding the telephone call from Bongo I reported last week.

Staffordshire Bull Terriers - Actually low fat Pit Bulls; why anyone would want to own the canine equivalent of a hand grenade with the pin pulled is beyond me - the dogs are generally psycotic and unpredictable due to incesssant inter breeding, and most "Staffs" are really 90% pit bull -  the name is just an unimaginative way for the proles to circumvent the Dangerous Dogs Act. It is the doggy equivalent of a skinhead and pair of steel toe capped Doc Martens boots. They are nothing more than fighting dogs that the under class keep as status symbols (and a dead givaway of their origins - you can take the scum out of the slum, but not the slum out of the scum), in a similar way to their tattoos and toddlers of both sexes with pierced ears virtually from birth (and don't get me started on THAT form of bodily disfigurement - the local Erith body graffiti parlour even sells gift vouchers); I despair.

The lack of manners and general civility in society in general - we could take a valuable lesson from these people

Badly customised ordinary shopping cars. The knuckle dragging owner of, for example, of an old Citroen Saxo will fit a "spoiler" the the rear of the roof, thinking it will look cool; the car is front wheel drive - the spoiler, if it works at all will actually reduce the "performance" of the vehicle, powered as it is by an asthmatic swimming pool pump that qualifies as an excuse for an engine. See some prime examples here.

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1 comment:

  1. My only worry in life is the garden looking better than the neighbours. (which of course it does).

    You poor lamb